A Stroke of Genius

Adversity can actually bring out the genius in a person; I know this from my own experience. Frustration with our job revealed what a mastermind we are, a fact that was well hidden until now. We are into recruitments; our jobs involves finding the right people, and placing them with our clients, sounds very simple, but take my word it is not. And of all the industries we work for IT, an industry with the most unprofessional people. This is my personal view and I am stating it here intentionally to provoke professionals (pun intended) from the IT industry.

These guys are so casual about job change and career moves that 1 person on an average will change 6 jobs in 5 yrs. Incredible I say, absolutely incredible. You call up a guy who has changed his job 4 months back and ask him why is he looking for a change so soon and he will say, I am earning a certain amount now (which is obscenely high) and I think I deserve a 50% raise at this point of time. Ya, sure you deserve a kick on your rear too dude. Like it is not enough to deal with such focused and goal oriented people, we have to deal with idiotic and irrational clients too.

One of Ganju’s clients is so nutty, that she expected a reply to her email on the day we discovered our office was burgled. All these HR people have a modus operandi; they don’t really want to hire people, they just want to torture the consultants. They will give us some requirements and ask us to find some suitable profiles for the same. We work like ants to fulfill their need with a renewed hope in our poor hearts that we will be able to meet our targets. Once we have sent them some profiles they will take a long time to shortlist them, then the interviews will happen and just when we are expecting an offer they will come up with excuses like, we have put the position on hold or the candidate is good, but we will keep him on hold, the best excuse is we have liked the guy, we think he is perfect for our requirement, but we don’t want to hire him why don’t you send us some more profiles, good ones this time. I wish there was a technology to slap people through phone.

Since there is no such technology Ganju and me came up with a substitute, we invented Nano Bum (Hindi for Bombs), known as G&B Nano Bums. In case you are wondering G&B stands for Ganju & Bhagya and not for Golce & Babbana.
So what did we do with these bums, well we planted them in our tormentor’s chaddis. Besides compromising their modesty and colouring their face black, these bums have
transformed them from tormentors to victims. Now the professionals (again pun intended) have stopped applying through us, we just don’t receive any profiles anymore, which means no work, are we happy or what? Our clients are a little thick skinned, they still work with us. One of our clients has even written an apologetic song, please read the same. (unless you want chaddi mein bum) I think it’s a take on a song from the film Masti, anyways never expected much creativity from our clients.


The Song

Interview liya hai, offer tumhein denge
Daga nahi karenge, candidate
Rab ki kasam, Bhagya, Rab ki kasam.

Rukh zindagi ne mod liya kaisa
Hamne socha nahin tha kabhi aisa
Aata nahi yakeen kya se kya ho gaya.
Kis tarha main tormentor se victim ban gaya
Insaaf kar do, mujhe maaf kardo
Itna hi kar do karam
Interview liya hai, offer tumhein denge
Daga nahi karenge, candidate

Arrogance mein ban gaya diwaana
Maine kyun Ganju ko nahin jaana
Chaahat yahi hai ke, is qadar offer doon
CTC mein tere main, do zero aur daal doon
Chain mera le lo, khushi meri le lo
Le lo saare, lelo saare bum
Interview liya hai, offer tumhein denge
Daga nahi karenge, candidate

Mere ashq keh rahe meri kahaani
Inhein samjho na tum sirf paani
Ro ro ke aansuon ke daag dhool jaayenge
Lekien lootein hue modesty ka kya karenge
Offers hum denge, bhool ab na hogi
Karo na tum humpe sitam
Interview liya hai, offer tumhein denge
Daga nahi karenge, candidate
Rab ki kasam, Bhagya, Rab ki kasam.


After the obvious success of our bums, we have decided to market them, in fact a patent is also pending. To market our product we have come with a catchy phrase, “G&B Nano Bum, dur kare sare Gum.”