The other day there was a report in one of the news papers that children (up to six years of age) these days greet each other with a kiss on the lips. An educational institute has decided to take this up as a serious issue . I will come to the school later, before that, the headline was quite interesting for its intended sensationalism. It uses the phrase 'locking lips' to describe the act of affection between these children. Parents and any adult (sensible of course) who happen to see children of kindergarten age on a regular basis must have at some point seen a child greet another by kissing on the lips. Who in their wildest imagination can describe it as 'locking lips'?
The school in question plans to do a workshop with parents to teach them how to alter this behavioural pattern in children. Not surprising that they find it questionable as one teacher put it as "an unusual adult-like behaviour". To alter this behaviour pattern they will be sitting down 4 & 5 year olds and somehow without alarming them explain to them why their behaviour is inappropriate. It will be interesting to see how this will be done without explaining the adult perspective to the children. What the children are displaying is not adult-like behaviour but child-like behaviour which is uninhibited by adult perverseness. It never ceases to amaze me how adults who were once children seem to lose the ability to look at and understand things from a child's perspective. It is not the children but the adult (teachers, parents, educators) perception that needs to change.
It reminds me of possibility of shameful punishment that teachers in my school used to threaten us with. To make us maintain discipline in the class they would give us a warning that if anyone was found talking, in case of a girl she would be made to sit between 2 boys and vice versa in case of a boy. I could never understand what was the big deal in sitting with boys. We studied and played together. What was the harm in sitting together? That was then. Educators now have to realise that children are changing. Children of now start making eye contact, indentifying/recognising people and generally taking in the world around them moments after they are born. They are smarter, mature and evolved much more than expected at their age. They are manifestation of evolution in human consciousness. Who knows, this workshop might just about turn out to be a learning experience for the educators in child-like behaviour.
2 comments:
Media thrives on hype. What else can one say about the ridiculous phrase "locking lips" used by the newspaper ?
I agree with your view. It is a simple act of affection that adults interpret from their perspective. I think they'll take the "because I say so" and "you're too young to understand" route to make the children alter their behaviour. Or maybe they'll try to be a little more modern (and creative ?) and say that it is un-hygienic :)
On my part, although it doesn't bother me as a pre-maturely adult act, I must say that I worry for the children. When I read your post, I felt that child-abusers could easily abuse these children without the children getting even the slightest odd feeling about it.
The "I'll make you sit with the boys/girls" part is, on the one hand, quite hilarious. On the other hand, I don't think they used taboos to manipulate the children, they created those taboos by attaching a feeling of awkwardness/guilt/shame to sitting next to a person of the opposite sex.
When I visited my sister in the States I noticed toddlers kissing their mothers on their lips. This was such an innocent thing, but I'm sure the hyperactive school administrations here would make some sick comments about that too.
I am of the opinion that if parents are open about their feelings for each other and kiss and hug in front of the children, there is no harm. In fact it promotes the idea of a happy family and the children of such families are more secure and happy.
Of course sexually charged scenes from 'A' rated movies should not be shown to children. It confuses them and prompts them to try things out as a game. With all the hormone charged dairy products in the market the children also mature faster.
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