I believe I can fly :)

I used to think that I could not go on
And life was nothing but an awful song
But now I know the meaning of true love
I'm leaning on the everlasting arms

If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it


I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly

See I was on the verge of breaking down
Sometimes silence can seem so loud
There are miracles in life I must achieve
But first I know it starts inside of me, oh

If I can see it, then I can be it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it


I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly

Hey, cause I believe in me, oh

If I can see it, then I can do it (I can do it)
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it


I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly

Hey, if I just spread my wings
I can fly
I can fly
I can fly, hey
If I just spread my wings
I can fly-eye-eye-eye
Hum, fly-eye-eye

- R Kelly

Tiniest, littlest thing and such profound sorrow

I went a little further up the path today. On my way back just before I could cross the only house on the path I saw the tiniest, little boy walking ahead with a school bag. I caught up with him. I put my hand on his head so that he could look at me and I could smile at him. I was greeted by big eyes with tears running down them. I bent and asked him what happened. Controlling his sobs and shaking his head he said, no one drops him to school, he said this a few times and then I understood him. I told him its ok, not to cry, I will walk with him and asked to give me his bag, which he did. He also had a two rupee coin in his hand. I wonder what would be his reaction if I had asked to carry the coin too. After a few steps and some consoling, I pointed back to the house and asked him if he lived there he said yes, and that brought back his pain and again he repeated that nobody drops him to school. He was so tiny, I had to walk at a snail's pace to keep pace with him.

Then he poked a finger in a hole in his T-shirt and said something about his dress and his mother. With his attention focused on the Tee, he continued saying something, so I kept saying yes to acknowledge, only to realise that he kept repeating the same thing. So I bent down and asked him to repeat again. He was asking me if I would also come to pick him up after school. I told him I have to go to work and it won't be possible for me to come when his school ends. He was fine with that. He pointed to the end of the path and asked me if I will go off from there. I said no I will take a right when we reach the crossroad. We could here some barking from the direction I had to take. He said there are many dogs that side and they are saying bow bow. I said what to do but I still have to go that way. When we reached the crossroad I asked him where his school is, it was at the dairy, with very few cows left now, which is a few steps straight ahead on the path. I gave him his bag and said bye. He said a very crisp bye and started walking to the school with his back straight.

When I left him he had his own company for the small distance he still had to walk and he had stopped crying.

Ashes or Gold

There is a fire inside
Why does it have to burn
the self and everything else?
Why can't it be the light
that gives courage to keep walking?
I don't understand
Why does it have to burn?

There is a fire inside
Why should it be angst
to rant through rhyme and song?
Why can't it be love
that warms countless chilled hearts?
I don't understand
Why should it be angst?

Ever felt love welling up inside. So much love that you start feeling compassion for even people who say nasty things to you. I was telling motu the other day that how it is so easy to love a child. One can just shower love on them, adore them and they never find it out of place. They are so matter of fact about it. But the same is not true for adults. No matter what the expectation for reciprocation comes in. And of course, it is not possible to show affection unless the person allows it. And also there is this whole thing about living a lie. It is so difficult to figure out if one is dealing with a real person. People seem to be caught up in role play. Ever known what it feels not to be part of the drama.

Birthday present and something else

They woke me up with cake in their hands and gleeful smiles on their faces. It took me a little time to come to senses and realise that my birthday had kicked in. I smiled back, cut the cake, and did not complain when some cake was smeared on my face. When we laid down in our beds to get back to sleep, one girl asked how was my birthday usually spent back home. I told her it is usually dinner with family and friends. Then I remembered and said, there is one more thing, it always rains on my birthday. When I woke up in the morning it was raining, just like it does in Mumbai. Not before my birthday and not since has it rained similarly here. Once the weather was worse but it did not rain the same. I went out to buy something and my trouser was drenched. At the most clothes become damp here in rain but never drenched.

I wanted to buy Totto-Chan for someone here. So I wrote to a book shop asking them if they had it in stock, and if not, would they order it for me. To my surprise I got a prompt reply, telling me they could, but it will take a couple of weeks, should they order it for me. I wrote back saying I don't have much time (no am not dying), I will be leaving the city by end of this month, so if it comes later it can be part of their collection. To my utter surprise again, the person wrote back saying they have ordered it and in case I can't pick it up they will stock it, cause just like I said they think it is a wonderful book and wished me luck for the future. In the world of updates, likes and being busy someone has actually communicated with me beyond the minimum needed.

Presents from the heavens and personal communication from a stranger. Chalo thodasa roomani ho jaye.