Economics of Marriage

Colleague: My friend is getting married.
Bhagya: Khool.
Colleague: He is getting married to one of my ex-students.
Bhagya: Great! What’s the exchange rate?
Colleague: I don’t know I don’t ask such details.
Bhagya: You should. That will help me assess my standing in the market.
Colleague: You know the two most difficult things in life are to make a house and get a girl married.


From the data that I have gathered I have come to the conclusion that my colleague is right. I don’t know about buying a house, my research has to do with marriage. A year back Spooman had told me that one of her friends was demanding a dowry of Rs. 20 lakhs. The reasoning was that he had spent so much money to study in the US and now he is working there, how can he allow his wife enjoy his fruits of labour for free. Why didn’t he become a rickshaw driver, he could have saved himself all the trouble. Then, there is Spooman’s cousin, some obscure TV actor or is that TV Star. Back then his rate was 60 lakhs, must have gone up now if he is not yet married. Why? Why? Why would anyone want to pay 60 lakhs to get themselves an anthropoid drone? Is this freakin world for real? If I had sixty lakh rupees I would be in Italy, wooing Italian men, drinking vintage wine, and gorging on Italian food. I am salivating. I hope just thinking about Italian men, Italian wine, and Italian food doesn’t amount to sin.

Coming back to the topic under discussion, two years back my bro’s bihari colleague got married for a cool sum of 8 lakh in cash, a car, assortment of jewellery and of course the dhoom-dhaam se shaadi ka expense. I had pestered my bro to marry a bihari girl, but he wouldn’t give in. He is one of those stupid people who don’t make hay when the sun shines. Especially foolish cause the market is equally good in Andhra (our native place) too. Information on other states is currently in process as soon as it is available it will be published on this blog for general reference. Kindly do not take the rates mentioned in this post as the official rates. Rate of exchange differs depending on individual parties and negotiation is possible.

Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind

I haven’t watched the movie by that name. But I understand the urge to clear one’s mind of everything. It will be so nice to wake up in the morning with nothing on your mind and never wake up in the middle of the night. A mind completely purged, ummmmm very tempting. While am on movies I should mention that I had wanted to watch Omkara, Dor, and Lage Raho Munnabhai but I didn’t watch anyone of them. Have been very busy. You know that state of mind where you keep thinking, oh my god! I got so much to do how can I take time out for anything else.

But I have grown smarter now and spaced things out. And I have resolved to watch every movie I wish. That leaves the problem of finding company. My sister will be the scapegoat. If I ask her to come for a movie with me, her standard answer will be, ek din toh milta hai aaram karne ko, shee Sunday ko nahi. Hehehe, but I am cunning for nothing. I will book the tickets on the net and then tell her. Knowing her she will never want the money to go waste.

Anwar seems like might be interesting, will watch that. There is Dhoom 2, but not even half-naked hot men can make me watch a crappy movie. So for now looking forward to only one movie.

Awrighty then! I was tagged by Essar sometime back. Today after senseless talk with Ganju I am in high spirits and decided to do it.

I am thinking about…
the same thing over and over again.

I said…
all the wrong things

I refuse…
to get conditioned.

I want to…
meet Verma and Balaji, my school classmates. Verma was the 1st ranker in my class. Once during a history exam I had asked her an answer to a question, I knew the answer but wanted to confirm it. According to her the answer was France, but I knew the answer was Spain. Yet I went along with her answer and flunked in history by 1 mark. The point is I clearly remember flunking in history, which means the incident has scarred me for life. Don’t get my intentions wrong, I don’t want to meet Verma to avenge her after all these years. It’s just that she had moved to Delhi after school so I am just curious about what’s up with her now.
In the 10th std., by then I had stopped flunking exams, one of the teachers randomly asked some students what they would like to do in the future. Balaji had said he would want to study microbiology. I remember me turning my head and looking at him with surprise. I went yuck why anybody would want to study biology, I mean if you had to study science, chemistry would be the better choice. The scene is still etched in my mind, I can see it. Since then I have wanted to know if Balaji has actually became a microbiologist.

I wish…
for salvation, if that is too much then I will settle for a good neck and shoulder massage.

I hear…
myself.

I wonder…
all the time

I regret…
nothing. And I mean it. I have raked my brain but found nothing to regret about.

I am…
filhal toh nothing

I dance…
I cannot dance to save my life. If I was Basanti, Veeru would be dead and history would be different.

I sing…
very often, no matter how many people ask me to shut up. I love to hum meaningful lyrics.

I cry…
when I can’t hold my tears back.

I am not always…
strong.

I make with my hands…
expressions.

I write…
to churn some thoughts out of my mind.

I confuse…
nobody.

I need…
to be reticent.

My Chance at Immorality

Lately, Orkut has been in news for all the wrong reasons or right depends on how u look at it. Some girls pictures were put up and wrong information was provided about them, which caused them trouble. I wouldn’t have known any of that had I not received mails from friends to let me know about the said incident and advising me that it would be prudent for me not to upload my picture on Orkut. What if my picture is used for pornography?

I did not take heed not because I dont respect my friends advices, but because I didnot see the need. Second why would anybody take MY picture and use it for pornography. I mean who am I. There are scores of people who are into this business then why would anybody pick up a random picture that most probably wont even gel with the works. And even if say my picture does get chosen, how the hell will I ever know unless someone I know is majorly into pornography and reports to me about the event.

Will that cause me embarrassment? I don’t know. Why will anybody who knows me believe that it’s me in the picture? Say they do believe it, so what? Haven’t people been that path sometime out of curiosity or just because it is one of their staple needs. So if someone you know is a porn actor how come it becomes unacceptable? And most importantly how do you define pornography, will someone explain?

I am pathetic at, and do not like networking. The only reason I am on Orkut is cause some of my friends are away and it is just another way to keep in touch with them. Another thing, I hoped to come across some folks from my school and college. So far my search has not been successful for simple reason that how do I recognize them without their pictures. I see the names, but how do I know these are the people I am looking for. I am not interested in making friends with strangers or good looking guys or people with similar interests, it doesn’t work for me.

So my picture stays up there, if I cant find them then maybe they will find me.

Broken Dreams and Different Philosophies

Sometime back I had received an SMS that the hutch dog is dead and now they are looking for a monkey and I should send my picture and resume to them. I was elated finally I found my calling. But I wanted to play fair so I sent the message to all my friends. Kathy said he would lose hands down if I applied, other friends were of the same opinion too. Ganju took the first flight to Mumbai, it was a Saturday, but went back when she realised I was her competition.

I knew I would face no problem as far as physical appearance was concerned. The human characteristics and behavioural pattern that I had acquired over the years might prove a deterrent. So, there was only one thing I could do I had to completely give up contact with the humans. Also I had to work on my inherent monkeyness.

The first thing I gave up was blogging, as that was the most human thing I used to do. Instead I took up activities like tree-climbing and snatching stuff from passers-by. Not even the incessant complaints to my parents could deter me from working towards my goal.

It is very difficult to give up old habits. But being a monkey is fun and simple. So I was willing to put in the hard work. Alas! If only I had known that the hutch network is jammed most of the time not cause the dog is dead, but cause……… well I don’t know. The dog is alive and following.

Anyway it was fun while it lasted, the monkey business that is. So you humans gonna see more of me from now. Kindly adjust.

The drama here ends
The curtain falls
In the deafening applause
I bow out

Sex is a Responsibility

Just watched a movie on the hallmark channel. The movie is called,'Mom at Sixteen'.

The story is about this girl who gets pregnant at 15 and has a baby boy at the age of 16.

In the end the girl addresses her classmates. This is what she says.
You can get pregnant whether you are practising safe sex or whether you are not.
It can happen to you and it can happen to anybody.
They tell us that sex is just one of the things we do.
The movies the magazines tell us that.
They lie to us. The world lies to us...........................

Sex is a big responsibility.

For Maxi, Dim, and I.


Aankhon mein sapne liye
Ghar se hum chal to diye
Jaane yeh raahein ab le jaayengi kahan
Mitti ki khushboo aaye
Palkon pe aansu laaye
Palkon pe reh jaayega yaadon ka jahan
Manzil nayi hai anjaana hai kaarvaan
Chalna akele hai yahan
Tanha dil, tanha safar
Dhoonde tujhe phir kyoon nazar
Tanha dil, tanha dil, tanha dil
Tanha dil, tanha dil

Ageless Magic

Yesterday I turned 29. No Big Deal! Except just two days back a girl who was there for interview too asked me if it would be my first job. I smiled, said no I have worked before. She asked how many years of experience. I said about 8 yrs, she kept shaking her head and kept saying, ‘You look too young for 8 years of experience’.

I find it hard to believe that I could pass for a 20 or 21 year old, especially since I now keep my hair long and have taken to wearing salwar-kameezes to work. Nevertheless such reaction is amusing. I remember when I was 19 and in my last year at college, I so did not want to be 20. It had nothing to do with growing old it is just that I wanted to be a teenager forever. Somehow I feel I have managed to do that, no, not to look like a teenager but to feel like one.

The day after the interview I watched two Harry Potter movies and like that was not enough in the night the cable guy showed ‘The Chronicles of Narnia”. I had gotten hooked to Harry Potter series after watching ‘Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban’, it was between my last two jobs. I read all the five books back to back. I live books, period. So, all the adventures that Harry goes through I live them too. I believe these books somewhere satisfy the child who used to build structures out of cardboards and believed them to be castles. Who would sit along on the terrace wall facing the western express highway looking out at the colourful Maruti cars, dreaming of flying. Who would roam in the wilderness that surrounded Abhinav School, sometimes alone, sometimes with her friend Pinky and let her imagination run wild.

The 7th book in the Harry Potter series should have been out by now, July is almost over. Waiting impatiently.

At the interview.

Are you married?
No!

Don't want to get married?
Nothing like that.

Waiting for someone in line?
Yes for Milind Soman, hoping he will meet me someday and realise we are made for each other. If he gets married before the above mentioned dream is realized, then I might get married to the next rich guy I come across and who is foolish enough to marry me.

I didn't say any of that, though now I feel I should have, as I didn't take up that job any ways and at Renuka's house read in Mumbai Mirror that Milind Soman has finally got married. I had not meant to go to Renuka's place, had gone to the Maharashtra State Board for Education, in Vashi, to collect the migration certificate for a cousin. I had gone there early morning, only to be told certificate will be issued between 2.30pm and 5.00pm, I should have checked the time on the back of the receipt. The stamp on the back of the receipt was blotched, the time could have been 10.30 or 12.30 or anything that fancied your imagination. I wanted to cry, it was my third visit to this excuse of an education institute, if I say I was frustrated it would be an understatement. I called amma and wanted to cry, but I didn't, told her will be home soon. On my way to the Vashi station, in the rickshaw I wanted to cry, I didn't. I wanted to cry while I was waiting for the train, but I didn't.

And at that moment I thought of Renuka, who stays close to the Board, she had called the day before and told me she is not well so will be home. I called her and asked if I could visit her, she said yes. At her home had a good time, went through this book called, 'The Little big Book of Love"

A poem from this book. Let Me Not to the Marriage of True Minds by William Shakespeare.

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediment; love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds.
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O, no, it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved.
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

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Identify the Terrorists

Cash prizes for the dead have been declared and a couple of policemen stationed on every railway station. Policemen, busy sitting in a corner and chatting, probably about how they couldn’t make their usual hafta on the 11th, due to the damn blasts. I could have carried explosives and planted them at will and they would have not noticed. And after a week or so the highly vigilant police will get back to normal too.

Next time you are in dire need of money don’t buy a lottery, just pray for a blast. If you get lucky, the family can claim the compensation and send a thank you note to the terrorists. Now wait a minute, how do you identify a terrorist? Who deserves the thank you note from you?

The politicians, who declare the prizes for the martyrs and condemn the attacks, but do nothing about preventing them, except, in cases when the attacks happen on the parliament.

Or the intelligence agencies and armed forces that will sell the secrets to any foreign buyer willing to pay a good price.

Or the police force that will let illegal consignments into any city for a few bucks.

Or a group of deranged men with an equally insane ideology seeking to annihilate the human race and backed by nations with pure and friendly intent.

I am confused, could someone identify the terrorists, please.

Yeh hai Bambai meri jaan

The Headline in today’s Times of India went something like this – city on the edge its fabled spirit flagging. What city are these people talking about? They seem to be grossly mistaken in their assessment. For one the spirit of Mumbai is not a fable, it is like a live being, so strong that its presence is felt even by the first timers to this city. Utar jaaye ragon mein jo toh yeh nasha hai. This spirit so magnanimous and engulfing it makes the filth, corruption, bad infrastructure and other vices ailing this city pale in comparison. And talking about being on the edge has this city ever been any different.

I went to Vile-Parle today which is part of the western suburbs. I stay in the eastern suburbs, so had to take a central line train to Dadar and from there change to a western line train to reach Vile-Parle. The atmosphere in the trains was no different from how it generally is. In one train 2 ladies were discussing how in movies Spiderman and Krissh save people, but if something happens to them there would be no such saviour. Another train, another 2 ladies, one was advised by a friend to take the ladies special as that train might be safe, to which the lady said she answered uparwallah hai, we got to do what we got to do. All in good humour.

While coming back in the afternoon the tiklis, earrings, and other assorted item vendors were doing their usual business in the trains. The afternoon crowd i.e. mummies and daddies with their kids in tow were out too, going about their agendas as usual. Looks like the newspaperwallahs haven’t been around Mumbai in the last two days, hence the fabled report.

Yesterday night Ganju called to check if my family and I are safe, kahi Mumbai ki barish mein phanse toh nahi.

Ganju : Kaisa hai, not going out of the house in the rains no?
Me: No, naukri nahi toh bahar kyun nikalne ka
Ganju: So every body home, last year sab alag alag jagah pe the na
Haan last year each one was stranded at a diff. Place.
Ganju: So whats happening with you? Any news
No nothing trying to look for a job.

I changed the topic and we gossiped a little about our old colleagues. But it is not easy to divert Ganju from her beloved topic.
Ganju came back to, so whats happening with you?
Nothing yaar.
Arey settle nahi hona hai tujhe?
Me: I am settled, isse jyaada aur kya settle hona hai?
You know what I mean, look for somebody.
I will be glad if I can find a job, don’t want to look for anything else. Rozi-roti ka intezaam karna hai, aur kuch nahi
To which the wizened Ganju said, Abey find somebody who will take care of that.

In the morning I had a brilliant idea. Ganju and Chrys can adopt me and find me a nice rich groom preferably a software engineer from the land of liberty, pay a hefty dowry and get me settled. In this arrangement there are some benefits for them too. They will get a beautiful daughter. Another thing no generation gap, we can party together. Got to call Ganju, nek kam mein deri kaisi.

While I am waiting for somebody to knock on my door and offer me my dream job, I have decided to blog about me, well I have always blogged about myself, only occasionally straying into other domains, but since it has always been my perspective about things, well it has always been about me, so nothing new there. Some might want to argue about this dream job issue, go ahead, that’s exactly the kind of stimulation my otherwise over rested mind needs.

Now instead of blogging about me, I could have watched a movie maybe every alternate day at the newly opened PVR and blogged about those movies, but for a tiny problem, I am broke. And secondly after watching Final Destination 3 and Krissh I am not sure if I want to venture into a theatre so soon.

It’s been raining non stop for the last few days so been at home all the time. It is nice to be home, except for those moments when I have to venture into the living room where my dad is constantly watching news. The latest news seems to be whether the Pope prefers Germany or Italy to win the semi finals. And I was under the impression I don’t have anything constructive to do, here is this entire industry that can beat me any day.

So while I am waiting for that knock and living off my sisters and trying to avoid catching the latest news may there be world peace.

My Spiritual Quest

1) A 20 year old gifted boy goes to Singapore to propose marriage to his lady love. Pray why didn’t the grandma tell him the legal eligible age for marriage is 21 years?

2) Are girls really that stupid?

3) How old is the girl (lady love)?

4) Are girls really that stupid??

5) Money saved on inconsequential things like script, screenplay, and girls clothes. Childish computer simulation, the freaky Japanese animations on Jetix are better. ( I had never thought I would ever get an occasion to acknowledge this) So where was the money spent?

6) Are girls really that stupid???

7) Are there going to be anymore sequels, if yes, then will we have a different heroine or the same one? If No, then thankyou.

8) Are girls really that stupid????

9) Whose cleavage was better the superhero’s or the girls?

10) Are girls really that stupid?????

If I don’t get answers to these questions before I die, I will remain a restless soul. If I get answers for question No 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9 but not for questions 2, 4, 6, 8 and 10 I will remain slightly uneasy soul, post death that is. If it is the other way round I might just get a haircut.

Life is the intoxication sober minds are high on.

I was reading about Pace Makers, a metal device that helps the heart pump blood throughout the body. As always my mind went on a tangent. I thought how human body is just like a device. Every body part has its function if it doesn’t work properly the system goes for a toss.

Last May I was diagnosed with Pleural infection in my right lung. Pleural is the protective cover over the lung. Water had accumulated between the pleural and the lung, the result, a shrunken lung. My doctor assured that it is not a big deal, I will recuperate very soon as I did not smoke or drink and didn’t do drugs either. He advised me to do pranayam and complete the entire course of medicine for nine months without a break. According to him yoga would be more effective in helping the lung to grow back to its normal size than medicines.

The antibiotics to be taken in the initial months are very strong and can leave you with Arthritis as side effects. Not every body under this medication is affected, but when it comes to me, it is always extreme excitement, so I had to experience arthritis too. Excruciating pain, every joint aches, even the toes. Fortunately I found a very good Yoga teacher and since then have been hooked to yoga. It is now an important part of my life.

What if I had been addicted to any of the substances mentioned by the doctor? Would my body be able to fight the disease and build back its immune system as easily? I am talking of addiction here, not occasional drinking or smoking, lots of people do that and still maintain a healthy lifestyle.

Life Sucks! Life is a Bitch! Life is a fucking whore! Surprisingly I have heard these expressions from people who are addicted to one or all of these substances. These things supposedly help keep frustration at bay ironically these were the most frustrated people I ever came across. One body to last a lifetime best you can do is take good care. Give yourself a chance. Life is Beautiful.

Bragging Session

I took the Super IQ test on Tickle.com. This is what they say about me.

Ahem!

The way you think about things makes you a Creative Theorist. This means you are a highly intelligent, complex person. You are able to process information of nearly every kind with ease, using both creativity and analysis to make sense of the world. Compared to others you also have a very rich imagination.

How did we determine that your thinking style is that of a Creative Theorist? When we examined your test results further, we analyzed how you scored on 8 dimensions of intelligence: spatial, organizational, abstract reasoning, logical, mechanical, verbal, visual and numerical. The 3 dimensions you scored highest on combine to make you a Creative Theorist. Only 6 out of 1,000 people have this rare combination of abilities.

I haven't stopped wondering why am I still not famous.

Maxi sent me the lyrics. Never heard the song, but nice lyrics.

Aqueous Transmission - Song by Incubus

I'm floating down a river
Oars freed from their holes long ago
Lying face up on the floor of my vessel
I marvel at the stars
And feel my heart overflow

Further down the river

Two weeks without my lover
I'm in this boat alone
Floating down a river named emotion
Will I make it back to shore
Or drift into the unknown

Further down the river

I'm building an antenna
Transmissions will be sent when I am through
Maybe we'll meet again further down the river
And share what we both discovered...
Then revel in the view

Further down the river

Ogie my twin friend, back from his honeymoon called, spoke with him for 45 minutes, and spoke for some while with his wife too. So things are still the same Ogie and me, still can talk without having to worry about the fact that he is now married. This thing about men and women cannot be friend’s is so silly. Whoever came up with this idea must be a psycho, born and brought up in Bihar.
Most of my closest friends are guys, going by the above mentioned rules I should have told each one of them, sorry though we get along so well and care for each other and will stand by each other no matter what, we cannot be friends cause you are men and I am a woman. Do genders apply to this relationship called friendship? To me my friends are just people with whom I get along and like to spend time with. Them being men or a woman never registers with me unless someone or some incident highlights it.
Once out of the blue Dim asked me, Sir you won’t talk to me or meet me once you get married?
I said why I would do that.
He said you don’t understand, things change after marriage, your husband will not like you talking to guys.
Why will I marry such man?
You say that now but you will meet a guy and fall in love and do whatever he says.

I went home from work and told my amma what Dim had said. She said, why will you marry such a man?
I smiled.
I know where I inherited my attitude from.

An Unsettling Quiet

It seems a quiet has settled…………….on me. I haven’t taken an oath to silence it’s just that I don’t feel like talking to put it elaborately I don’t feel like expressing. So many thoughts in my mind but I don’t feel like putting words to them. Words somehow seem to be incapable of expressing my self.
Umpteen times during the past few days I have tried to write down the things in my head, but just not been able to. Thoughts are not translating into words.
It reminds me of when I was younger and an absolute introvert, I could never bring myself to talk to people, primarily because I was shy (still am) and secondly I never liked sharing my thoughts. Am I going back in circles, I guess.
What is disconcerting is it is not the kind of quiet where you enjoy your own company. It is a very unsettling quiet. I need to reclaim my mind.

Making A Wish - Be Precise

A woman, just divorced comes to Italy on vacation to get away from the hurt and disappointment. One day travelling through a bus she sees a house and falls in love with it. Fortunately the house is on sale. She decides to buy it, somehow managing to raise enough money, the agent helping her to get a good deal.

Her best friend is surprised at her decision to live in a new country away from home, but the woman has made her choice. The estate agent and she become friends, she confides in him that she is lonely and wishes for marriage, children and a family in her house.

She meets a man, they are attracted to each other, she is happy. She is once again heart broken when she realizes the man is married and she was nothing but an amusing fling for him.

A young man who had worked in her house is in love with a rich farmer’s daughter. The farmer is against the alliance as the boy is poor and does not have a family. She adopts the young man as her son and thus a wedding takes place in her house. She now has a family

Her best friend who is pregnant decides to leave her home and come and live with this woman. There is a birth of a child in her house.

The agent brings to her notice that her wish has been granted, a wedding and a child in the house and a family to live with. She is happy with how things have turned out but this is not how she had wished it to be.

judaa ho gayaa main

I read a poem on a blog today, it was about parting, breaking off with the person you love and your attempts to move on but at the same time unable to reconcile with the fact and continue to hope that things will work out. It reminded me of one of my all time favourite song by Mohd. Rafi from the film Hakeeqat. Here's the lyrics.

main ye sochkar uske dar se uthaa thaa
ke vo rok legi manaa legi mujhko

havaaon mein lahraataa aataa thaa daaman
ke daaman pakadkar bithaa legi mujhko

kadam aise andaaz se uth rahe the
ke aavaaz dekar bulaa legi mujhko

magar usne na rokaa
na usne manaayaa
na daaman hi pakadaa
na mujhko bithaayaa
na aavaaz hi dii
na vaapas bulaayaa
main aahistaa aahistaa badhtaa hi aayaa
yahaan tak ke us se judaa ho gayaa main
judaa ho gayaa main

A mother crying, her son consoling her, "Papa will be fine soon".
Some holding back tears, some writing the name of their respective god in notebooks. Some meditating on beads. Each praying in his own way to postpone the inevitable end.

Immortal Egos

The recent reports of all and sundry in Gujarat wanting Aamir khan to apologize for some stand he took, took me back to an episode during my first job.

I worked as a housekeeper for a five star hotel in Mumbai and on that particular day was assigned supervision of floor 2,3 and 4. In the suite 202 we mostly had this regular guest Mr. Panicker. Now regular guests are treated as gods, if they say green is blue then that’s how it is.

On that day there was a complaint from 202 that the AC was not working. Everybody that includes the Executive Housekeeper (HOD), senior housekeeper, the resident manager (Dr.Mamik, nobody knew why he was called a doctor, but he insisted so everybody went along) and the head of maintenance were in the room pacifying the esteemed guest when I was summoned.

The moment I entered the room, the attack of the killer resident manager, he wanted to know how I cleared the room when the AC was not working and I should apologize to Mr. Panicker for the inconvenience caused. All I said was when I checked the room the AC was working absolutely fine. The HOD was startled she had assumed I would very meekly apologize for something that was not my fault and they will in addition give some complimentary services to the muftkhor and everything will be fine. But with my retort I managed to put them in a fix, at the moment one of the engineers came and informed that the AC was working fine when I had checked it, so it was not my fault.

How large must be the size of such people’s ego. Such self-importance, how vain and how stupid and how human.

In Broken Images

He is quick, thinking in clear images;
I am slow, thinking in broken images.
He becomes dull, trusting to his clear images;
I become sharp, mistrusting my broken images.
Trusting his images, he assumes their relevance;
Mistrusting my images, I question their relevance.
Assuming their relevance, he assumes the fact;
Questioning their relevance, I question the fact.
When the fact fails him, he questions his senses;
When the fact fails me, I approve my senses.
He continues quick and dull in his clear images;
I continue slow and sharp in my broken images.
He in a new confusion of his understanding;
I in a new understanding of my confusion.


This poem was in my exam paper today.
It's just too good, amazing clarity of thoughts.

You only live twice

You only live twice or so it seems,
One life for yourself and one for your dreams
You drift through the years and life seems tame,
Till one dream appears and love is its name.

And love is a stranger who'll beckon you on,
Don't think of the danger or the stranger is gone.

This dream is for you, so pay the price.
Make one dream come true, you only live twice.

And love is a stranger who'll beckon you on,
Don't think of the danger or the stranger is gone.

This dream is for you, so pay the price.
Make one dream come true, you only live twice.


By COLDPLAY

Reliving the Past

Those nights of pineapple, strawberry, chocolate, and black-current ice-creams at seven-eleven.

Those nights of delicious beef kebabs and parathas from Kurla.

Those nights of scouring the streets for late night eateries.

Those nights of troubling me insane.

Those nights of singing, ‘Yaaro Dosti Badi hi haseen hai…..’

Those nights of endless wait for Maxi.

Those nights of flying in the sumo.

Those nights of being alive.

Dim, Viyer, Savs, Mitz, Maxi, VJ, Ogie, Rascal - love you guys. You are the best.
Google baba will take care of the rest.

It's ephemeral, they say
will not last long
How long is long?
Truth varies, so does time.
Is yesterday part of this long?
Maybe for once their sapience is wrong.

First, Last and everything in between

Is there a right age to fall in love? Is experience required to love somebody? It seems, so what is the right age – 12, no should be 13, teens is the right time.
At least one fling during the school years, in college no number restriction, one has to gain as much experience as possible. That’s the only way one can have an impressive love resume once out of college. You like somebody in the real world, just forward your resume. Efforts should be made to make a good love profile, after all the 1st impression matters. Maybe one can add points like –been a top performer in all my relationships or, was consistently awarded best GF/BF award for the last 5 years.
Looking at the resume the object of your interest is bound to ask – Your performance is good you are being appreciated too, then why looking for a change. Simple answer, looking for better opportunity. It was always my aim to love you, now that you are single and available I couldn’t let such a great opportunity pass. There you go you have won over the opportunity.

Points to be noted
1 - Your first love cannot be the last love. Unless you get more experience in between.
2 - Try to start as young as possible.
3 - When moving from one relationship to another, make a smooth transition.
4 - Sometimes bitterness is unavoidable be prepared for it.
5 - You can stop looking for new opportunities and settle down with the current one but for that ensure you are well settled in your career.
6 - The most important point never be sure, always leave room for doubt (doubt your feelings silly, not the other person)
7 – There is always someone better so keep looking.

And if you are the kind to be sure and can do without the trials & errors, then God help you, without experience don’t expect to be taken seriously. So if you have already lost precious years get into the game now, it’s better late than never.


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Is it hot or is it just me

She hasn’t changed

A girl who never in her life studied of her own will. Who studied enough to be able to pass, as she could not bear to repeat a class and face her parents if she failed.
She took optimum advantage of the fact that she was always the last among the girls roll calls thanks to her surname. She prepared for the orals while the 20 odd girls went through their tests before her.
When her peers were busy with their 3rd revision she would come to her senses and go through the portion and come up with a strategy to study the minimum and clear the exams.
What made this girl believe that this time she will study? that too two months before the exams. Now when passing an exam is not even a matter of saving face. How her good friend Dim had tried to dissuade her from enrolling for the PG degree. Sir why do you want to do MA, you only say degrees are of no use. But the foolish girl her head full of future glory went ahead with her plan.
Hey Bhagvan iss ladki ki nayya paar lagao.

Why a hit?

Why Rang de Basanti is a hit? Will any of one of the millions or such numbers who have been instrumental in making this movie a success actually follow the example of its protagonist, the answer clearly is No. Forget going against the law or joining the police or politics to clean the system we will continue to bribe our way through regulations because honestly it is very inconvenient to be righteous. Then why was this movie that goes so against our ‘Chalta Hai’ attitude become a hit? Why did the masses lap it up? Like this was an elixir they have been waiting for and didn’t want to miss out on the experience even if short lived.
The reason could be that at some point each one of us has gone through similar angst when we wanted to shoot the perpetrators of our angst. This is the angst that a Jessica lal, a Yunus Khan or a Satyendra dubey’s family and friends must have felt. But they did not take to arms and go on a killing spree and that is the reason why this movie is a hit. Because a bunch of fictional characters did what none of us will ever do. They avenged the wrong done to millions of commoners who don’t stand a chance of ever getting justice through the right way. They fulfilled a wish. A wish different from the regular dreams of visiting the Swiss Alps or snorkelling in the clean waters of Mauritius. Of the innumerable movies made on the subject of individuals taking on the corrupt system and coming out victors, this is the only movie that comes closer to reality in the end with the perishing of the naive heroes who for once dismiss the ‘Chalta Hai’ attitude and pay with their dear lives. I believe it was this conclusion that was the clincher for the movie and not the well-shot and presented patriotic colours of Rang de Basanti. The common man was allowed though briefly to believe that things could change if he wishes to but the end reassured him that it was just a fictional dream, we are allowed to let things be.



I am back. Well Almost.

Not Finished Yet

I will be away from blogging for sometime now, this time I am gonna keep my word. Last year i.e 2005 had started off on a lazy note and by the time it ended I was on a roller coaster ride, the hectic pace was carried forward to 2006. The ride has been quite interesting, came face to face with something new, recognized and acknowledged it and learned to live with it.

Right now I am vey happy, lots of good happening around me. Most of my friends seem to be on track professionally and some are taking stock of things and making some crucial decisions. My friends VJ & PJ, who are incidentally married to each other had a baby, a bonny boy. In two months time my family will be shifting to a new house, really looking forward to it. All the positivity is affecting me and making me believe I am going to pass my exams with flying colours, haven't thought beyond that. All I know is this year I am going to turn 29 the same number as my birthdate. Besides that I don't know whats going to happen with me. But going by the record of the past 28 years its going to be interesting.

Don't miss me too much. I will be back far more crazier(definite) and wiser(doubtful) than now.

I had met two kinds of people in this world, One who think and the other who don't.
Then I met the third kind............... with no brain.

Of Making Out, Perverts and Getting Married

At the University I have befriended a middle-aged woman, mother of three and a teacher by profession. Very nice lady but unintentionally funny. If she has any grouse she has to tell me. Once during a lecture she was all hassled so she is like, 'what are they teaching re, just rushing through the portion, can't even make out' I managed a straight faced acknowledgment.
Another time she was complaining about a colleague who is a pervert. I said, 'why do you say that?
You don't know re she hides her notes between sheets of correction papers and studies. She doesn't want me to know that she has the notes. Pervert only she is.
On the way to the station in the rickshaw, 'Do you think we will pass?
Me: yes we will
For you it is ok re you are used to studying I have lost touch long time back.
Me: Its been years since I have been out of college too. Don't remember when was the last time I studied.
With a surprised look.... 'what is your age?'
I am 28.
Surprise changes to reproach.
Not married yet (Note its a statement and not a question)
No I not married.
Why? Oh you want to first settle in career and then get married.
No nothing like that, just not married.
The discourse for today ends here.

Never ever think that you have seen it all. Just today while having chai in the evening Spooman was telling us about N. It seems N has a boyfriend whom she wanted to meet on Valentine's day and how she was making cryptic references to her BF so that spooman could ask her questions to get details.
Suddenly Kathy woke up from his dream and said, 'Somethings wrong with the world even N has a boyfriend. Look at me!
To which I said, 'Now why would you want a boyfriend?'

I tell you whether something is wrong with the world or not, something is definitely wrong with Kathy or should I say queer.

A Day Well Spent

We had wanted to go to town for some time. Finally we decided on today. Kathy and me both reached VT at 11.30am the preset time, called Maxi to find out where he was, not surprisingly he was still at home. After partying the whole night he had reached home in the morning and getting sermons from his mom for wanting to go out again. So it was going to be only Kathy and me. We started walking towards Flora Fountain the vendors had just started setting shop. Kathy wanted to buy 4 copies of the book “The world is Flat” after checking out many stalls, finally one guy agreed to sell each copy for Rs. 80 but Kathy was adamant he wanted them at 70 each in Chennai he would get it for much cheaper. We walked some more and bargained with some more book sellers finally I managed to convince him that 80 bucks was a good bargain and going to Chennai just for the books would be too expensive. So we went back and bought the 4 copies.
I had a list of books to buy but couldn’t find a single one. Around that time Maxi called and said he would join us in an hour meanwhile we should check out the book sale at Kala Ghoda Art Festival. This was one pathetic Art Festival, nothing happening really just a trade fair on a minute scale, only thing good was the book sale but I did not find any of the books I was looking for.
On the footpath near the Jehangir Art Gallery one finds some paintings displayed some street artists working and displaying their skills there is a section dedicated to Bollywood too, here my attention was drawn by a beautiful painting a lone temple in the midst of trees and some people going about their business. We were whiling away time there when Maxi joined us. We decided to have lunch and then continue with the window-shopping at that moment I noticed the board, advertising palm and face reading. I was to try it out and my prophecy was interesting then Kathy and Maxi would follow my suit. After some general prediction the guy said I could ask him a question. The question was what to ask? I said I will ask if I will get a desired job. Kathy and Maxi were completely against it they wanted me to ask when I will get married. Now how would he know that? Anyways after much discussion finally it was to be the marriage question. The answer to which was,”Jab sahi samay aayega tab shaadi hogi”. This answer was the deciding factor for the duo, they did not want to get their face read. What was the whole point if he couldn’t tell when they would get married. I paid the swami for enlightening me. The next thing on our agenda was to enlighten our starving bellies.
We went to Royal Café opposite Regal Cinema, for a minute I thought we were at the wrong place, once upon a time this restaurant was small and served Indian food. Now it is huge and swank and the cuisine has been changed to Italian. Two of Maxi’s friends joined us for lunch; one of them just kept talking to Maxi in particular. I tried to join in but after some attempts decided to follow Kathy’s example and kept quiet. During the course of the lunch Maxi revealed that the plan was to watch a movie, the new Jim Carrey flick, the talkative friend had an opinion on that too. Kathy and I said we didn’t want to watch the movie as we still had to browse through the streets of Colaba, we reminded him that was the reason we were here. Maxi was crushed, how could we have not known that he had plans to watch a movie. That’s Maxi something’s on his mind and he thinks the entire world knows about it. And on top of that he has to commit to thousand things at the same time.
After lunch Maxi was in a turmoil, we told him its alright he can go and watch the movie we will continue to scout for some more books while he was thinking about it I managed to strike a great bargain and bought a three quarters pant for 80 bucks after which we parted ways.
Though we were specifically looking for books, it is impossible not to get distracted by all the accessory stalls at Colaba. Fortunately for Kathy I don’t take much time to decide I just have to glance at the stuff and know that I don’t like anything and move on to the next shop. After much glancing about I bought 2 glass bangles, an anklet and one necklace all for 95 bucks, great bargain this too. We walked the whole of causeway and still did not find any of the books I was looking for. So we decided to go back to Kala Ghoda, there Kathy brainwashed me to buy ‘The Complete Sherlock Holmes’ which was for just 159 bucks. Then we went to Magna bookstore, a lovely shop which has a balcony where you can sit on the cane chairs and sip on tea or coffee while reading the books. I found one of the books I was looking for “Madame Bovary” by Gustave Flaubert. Got a discount on the book too. Than Kathy and me ordered coffee and were relaxing on the balcony when Maxi called and said he would join us there. After Maxi came we spent some more time there and then left for Gateway Of India, on the way we saw Central Cottage Industries Emporium went in just to check out stuff and ended up buying some nice stuff. From there went to Gateway only to find it crowded, so decided to call it a day and headed back to VT.
Our Maxi had left his sunglasses with his friend so we had to wait outside McDonalds to meet her. There was this small shop selling dude and Macho kind of accessories, Maxi has a fetish for finger rings, he started looking through them. Liked one and was going to pay 80 bucks for it, I grabbed the hundred rupee note from him and told him to relax. Kathy and me started bargaining we said we would not pay anything more than 50. We told him not interested and stood there looking the other way. Maxi’s friend came and returned the sunglasses. We started to make a move when the ringwala called and said we can get the ring for 70 bucks nothing less than that. We stood our ground, he said 60, we wouldn’t budge, I told Maxi don’t give him hundred bucks I got a fifty rupee note. When I gave the shopkeeper money he almost wanted to grab a ten-rupee note from my wallet. Maxi couldn’t believe it he wanted to do some more shopping with us. We told him that could have been possible if he had not gone for the movie. A day that started and ended with a good bargain.

Counting My Days

Me not dying. Just counting my days in the office,last month at work. 18 days more to go, take out 3 sundays and 1 saturday that leaves only 14 days. :D Then I will be free. I know it will take me a little time to get adjusted to freedom and all things related to it. Like lotsa time at hand, no routine, no targets, no freaking meetings.
The tiny laughing buddha, national flag on a black plastic stand that I had bought at a traffic signal will go with me. The only person who will miss me will probably be the Gurkha who greets me without fail everyday and who until a couple of weeks back was under the impression that Dim is my brother.
14 working days, I think I will start scratching a line on the wall for each passing day. Not only will it help me count better but also act as a reminder to others of the term that I served here. From Kala Paani to Firangi Paani in 18 days.

The Morning Sky

The morning sky, light blue, just out of slumber with a trimming of frothy orange to its east. Such a calm demeanor but fighting the golden rays of the sun from engulfing it and changing its persona. It knows the sun is its savior the force that liberates it from the darkness and yet it can not completely blend with this life giver and lose its identity. Instead what it does is make it a prime focus each day, taking a kind of pride in its presence, until its time for the sun to move on. And it does not mind living through infinite nights of darkness waiting for the inevitable meeting with the sun, secure in the knowledge that in this rhythm of day and night they will always be together.

5 to 8 things

Time for CC's Tag


5 to 8 things I would want to do with my mate.

1 - Talk. A lot of talking, debates, discussions, arguments about anything and everything.

2 - Travel, go for drives, rides, walks. Explore.

3 - Watch movies together. Sports, plays any together activity.

4 - Make some kids.

5 - Spend time together watching sunrise and sunset with a hot cuppa of chai or coffee especially on beaches.

6 - Go to hilly places and when it is dark and cold and the sky seems to be close enough to raise your hand and touch, snuggle in together and gaze at the stars and the moon.

7 - Call in sick at the office and get wet in the rain spend the rest of the day indoors enjoying hot pakoras and watching movies.

To tag or not to tag is the question. Me wont tag anybody, but hoping to get some insights on other blogs very soon. :-)

8 things I would look for..........

1 - Tall dark/fair and handsome.

2 - Smart enough to make lots of money and dumb enough to let me spend it.

3 - Buy me diamonds on special occasions (I get to decide the occasions) and the rest of the times he should buy me flowers, chocolates and all other things that are a woman's best friends besides diamonds.

4 - Should protect me from cockroaches. My heart was broken once when in school I found out that the guy I adored was scared of cockroaches. I dont want to go through the trauma once again.

5 - Should be charismatic, in a crowd he should stand out. That doesnt mean he should dress like a clown.

6 - Should have a captivating sense of humour. (Wow I can patent this I dont believe anybody has ever thot of sense of humour as captivating)

7 - Should repeatedly proclaim his undying love for me.

8 - He should be crazy.

Tag Meter

I go visiting blogs after a long time and, what do I see? I am tagged not by one but two people.

Ladki ek aur tag do, bahut naainsaafi hain.

Nothing can prepare you. Not your friends not your family not even life. It sneaks in unnoticed and takes over your entire being by the time you realize it’s too late. This intruder becomes the core of your existence. Happiness and sorrow, I am amazed by its duality. My illusion is shattered. It’s become the reality.

Rang de Basanti

An excellent movie, everybody should watch it. Excellent casting.
It gets full marks in all departments, great content, great treatment and presentation.

Saw "Krish's" promos looks promising. We might just get our own costume hero and who else could be better fit for the role but Hrithik.

Move On

Her first job, she was so naïve and innocent, she couldn’t for heaven fathom why people had to play games? Her first crush, surprisingly the memories are still fresh. She wasn’t interested in the game, she moved on.

New place, new people, new things to do. She was scared and lost. She thought she will fail, but proved herself wrong. Met some wonderful people, her best friends now. Same games here, before cynicism could set in, she quit and moved on.

She vowed to be successful this time. Infatuation, hard work and fun, that was some jumble. She managed to stay away from the game and still make a name. Only to realize this was not what she really wants and moved on.

With anticipation she took on something new only to realize it’s the same game. In and out of jobs is no big deal she’s done that before. But this time its different for her, she deliberated before making the decision. Lots of hope and some trepidation for companions she is ready to move on.

So much has changed, nothing is familiar any more
At times I think its for good, sometimes wish everything was same
A shadow cast over Merry days, not willing to lift
Tomorrow a new day will dawn and only memories will remain.


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My next visit here will be in April, until then CIAO, bye, Khuda hafeez, phir milenge.

Yesterday the whole day I was humming Emran Hashmi’s latest song. WHY? Well er, I don’t know just couldn’t help it.

So on the way back from a client meeting when Manju could not take it any longer. She tried to make some conversation with me. She said, ‘How lucky is this guy all songs picturized on him become hits’. I said yes why him, why couldn’t I get all the luck, I sure do need it. At which Manju said when God was distributing luck I must be whiling my time away on a swing. That made sense.

But come to think of it here is a guy nobody I know likes, but he is successful and making lotsa money. This guy has made a niche for himself just by being himself, i.e sleazy. Uday Chopra had tried that but his approach was too subtle and he wears too much make up.

I have come to a conclusion to be successful one has to be sleazy, with the in your face attitude a la Hashmi. I wish someday Hashmi will come up with a book named, ‘Seven sleazy ways to be successful’ or ‘The Art of Successful Sleaziness’. Until then I will keep swinging and if I get any spare time will watch his movies.

Stranger

I roamed this earth before, never alone
I gazed at the stars before, never alone
I travelled the oceans before, never alone
I soared the sky before, never alone
Now I am a stranger to you,
someday again it will be like before.