Reverse Osmosis

Of late I have been meeting foreigners – various nationalities; each one of them finds it astounding that people speak more of English than any of the native languages in Mumbai. I try to tell them that we learn it as first language in school, so we are used to it. They still don't see why we can't talk in hindi among ourselves. Since these encounters I have consciously tried to keep track of conversations I have with people. I have found that very few educated people will reply or talk to you in Hindi or Marathi. Ask a question in Hindi or Marathi and 99 out of 100 times the reply will be in English. Some people just refuse to speak anything else. No wonder so many English speaking classes have sprouted in the city.

One of my friend teaches in one such institute in the western suburbs. Recently I went to meet her at her class and she asked me to talk to the students and give them some tips on how to prepare for interviews. I asked each one of them why did they want to learn to speak English. Everybody believed that English was the key to profesional success. One guy said he works in the purchase department of a company and finds it difficult to communicate with people as many talk to him in English. He stated because he studied in vernacular medium his English is weak and he wants to improve it. I have never liked the word vernacular. I said to him Marathi is not vernacular it is far superior in syntax and structure than English. It is nice to learn English though, it is the most dynamic and inclusive language and much help in the professional world. It is amazing how this term 'Vernacular' has become synonymous with Indian Languages. A bunch of arrogant colonists term some of the richest languages in the history of humankind in terms of both literature and dialect as vernacular and Indians continue to be the torchbearers of a dead past. Allow me a chuckle here.

It is amazing how the English dailies unfailingly use this umbrella term every time they have to refer to any Indian Language. Now since English has become as much Indian as any other language why still the distinction. Can't do much about our psuedo-intellectual, elitist media, they are best left alone. But what's stopping me from having fun. It's time for reverse osmosis (don't ask me what it is, I like the term). I am going to work the ask me anything in English and I will reply in Hindi trick on everybody. And if someone throws a fake accent devil help them.