Identify the Terrorists

Cash prizes for the dead have been declared and a couple of policemen stationed on every railway station. Policemen, busy sitting in a corner and chatting, probably about how they couldn’t make their usual hafta on the 11th, due to the damn blasts. I could have carried explosives and planted them at will and they would have not noticed. And after a week or so the highly vigilant police will get back to normal too.

Next time you are in dire need of money don’t buy a lottery, just pray for a blast. If you get lucky, the family can claim the compensation and send a thank you note to the terrorists. Now wait a minute, how do you identify a terrorist? Who deserves the thank you note from you?

The politicians, who declare the prizes for the martyrs and condemn the attacks, but do nothing about preventing them, except, in cases when the attacks happen on the parliament.

Or the intelligence agencies and armed forces that will sell the secrets to any foreign buyer willing to pay a good price.

Or the police force that will let illegal consignments into any city for a few bucks.

Or a group of deranged men with an equally insane ideology seeking to annihilate the human race and backed by nations with pure and friendly intent.

I am confused, could someone identify the terrorists, please.

Yeh hai Bambai meri jaan

The Headline in today’s Times of India went something like this – city on the edge its fabled spirit flagging. What city are these people talking about? They seem to be grossly mistaken in their assessment. For one the spirit of Mumbai is not a fable, it is like a live being, so strong that its presence is felt even by the first timers to this city. Utar jaaye ragon mein jo toh yeh nasha hai. This spirit so magnanimous and engulfing it makes the filth, corruption, bad infrastructure and other vices ailing this city pale in comparison. And talking about being on the edge has this city ever been any different.

I went to Vile-Parle today which is part of the western suburbs. I stay in the eastern suburbs, so had to take a central line train to Dadar and from there change to a western line train to reach Vile-Parle. The atmosphere in the trains was no different from how it generally is. In one train 2 ladies were discussing how in movies Spiderman and Krissh save people, but if something happens to them there would be no such saviour. Another train, another 2 ladies, one was advised by a friend to take the ladies special as that train might be safe, to which the lady said she answered uparwallah hai, we got to do what we got to do. All in good humour.

While coming back in the afternoon the tiklis, earrings, and other assorted item vendors were doing their usual business in the trains. The afternoon crowd i.e. mummies and daddies with their kids in tow were out too, going about their agendas as usual. Looks like the newspaperwallahs haven’t been around Mumbai in the last two days, hence the fabled report.

Yesterday night Ganju called to check if my family and I are safe, kahi Mumbai ki barish mein phanse toh nahi.

Ganju : Kaisa hai, not going out of the house in the rains no?
Me: No, naukri nahi toh bahar kyun nikalne ka
Ganju: So every body home, last year sab alag alag jagah pe the na
Haan last year each one was stranded at a diff. Place.
Ganju: So whats happening with you? Any news
No nothing trying to look for a job.

I changed the topic and we gossiped a little about our old colleagues. But it is not easy to divert Ganju from her beloved topic.
Ganju came back to, so whats happening with you?
Nothing yaar.
Arey settle nahi hona hai tujhe?
Me: I am settled, isse jyaada aur kya settle hona hai?
You know what I mean, look for somebody.
I will be glad if I can find a job, don’t want to look for anything else. Rozi-roti ka intezaam karna hai, aur kuch nahi
To which the wizened Ganju said, Abey find somebody who will take care of that.

In the morning I had a brilliant idea. Ganju and Chrys can adopt me and find me a nice rich groom preferably a software engineer from the land of liberty, pay a hefty dowry and get me settled. In this arrangement there are some benefits for them too. They will get a beautiful daughter. Another thing no generation gap, we can party together. Got to call Ganju, nek kam mein deri kaisi.

While I am waiting for somebody to knock on my door and offer me my dream job, I have decided to blog about me, well I have always blogged about myself, only occasionally straying into other domains, but since it has always been my perspective about things, well it has always been about me, so nothing new there. Some might want to argue about this dream job issue, go ahead, that’s exactly the kind of stimulation my otherwise over rested mind needs.

Now instead of blogging about me, I could have watched a movie maybe every alternate day at the newly opened PVR and blogged about those movies, but for a tiny problem, I am broke. And secondly after watching Final Destination 3 and Krissh I am not sure if I want to venture into a theatre so soon.

It’s been raining non stop for the last few days so been at home all the time. It is nice to be home, except for those moments when I have to venture into the living room where my dad is constantly watching news. The latest news seems to be whether the Pope prefers Germany or Italy to win the semi finals. And I was under the impression I don’t have anything constructive to do, here is this entire industry that can beat me any day.

So while I am waiting for that knock and living off my sisters and trying to avoid catching the latest news may there be world peace.

My Spiritual Quest

1) A 20 year old gifted boy goes to Singapore to propose marriage to his lady love. Pray why didn’t the grandma tell him the legal eligible age for marriage is 21 years?

2) Are girls really that stupid?

3) How old is the girl (lady love)?

4) Are girls really that stupid??

5) Money saved on inconsequential things like script, screenplay, and girls clothes. Childish computer simulation, the freaky Japanese animations on Jetix are better. ( I had never thought I would ever get an occasion to acknowledge this) So where was the money spent?

6) Are girls really that stupid???

7) Are there going to be anymore sequels, if yes, then will we have a different heroine or the same one? If No, then thankyou.

8) Are girls really that stupid????

9) Whose cleavage was better the superhero’s or the girls?

10) Are girls really that stupid?????

If I don’t get answers to these questions before I die, I will remain a restless soul. If I get answers for question No 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9 but not for questions 2, 4, 6, 8 and 10 I will remain slightly uneasy soul, post death that is. If it is the other way round I might just get a haircut.