RECIPE FOR BHEJA FRY

INGREDIENTS

1 Bheja of a regular, logical, hardworking employee
1 project specially created for frying Bhejas
Few stupid ideas of a brainless (see the irony) boss
Some silly suggestions by the same brainless boss
Irrelevant feedback by…………………………….

METHOD OF PREPARATION

1. Marinate the Bheja in the project for a day, for better results keep it air-conditioned at about 16 degrees.
2. Next day approx. after 24 hrs, check on the Bheja, it should be numb.
3. Saute the numb bheja in the few stupid ideas and let it simmer on low flame for hours.
4. When the bheja turns golden brown and is ready to explode add some silly suggestions and let it cook for some more time, this time on high flame.
5. If not satisfied with the rate at which the bheja is getting fried, keep adding silly suggestions.
6. When the bheja is completely fried––u can make out by the crackling sound––then turn the flame off and serve it garnished with irrelevant feedback.

I was standing at the bus stop.

From the house across the street, two very old and frayed people came out.
A man and a woman. Holding hands, the woman clinging to the man.
They made to cross the road, but held back for the bus to pass.
Then with hurried steps they crossed the street.
The woman started walking in my direction.
With hurried steps the man crossed to the other side and went back into the house.
It took me few seconds to realise.
The old man had come out just to see the old woman safe across the street.
How beautiful!

Economics of Marriage

Colleague: My friend is getting married.
Bhagya: Khool.
Colleague: He is getting married to one of my ex-students.
Bhagya: Great! What’s the exchange rate?
Colleague: I don’t know I don’t ask such details.
Bhagya: You should. That will help me assess my standing in the market.
Colleague: You know the two most difficult things in life are to make a house and get a girl married.


From the data that I have gathered I have come to the conclusion that my colleague is right. I don’t know about buying a house, my research has to do with marriage. A year back Spooman had told me that one of her friends was demanding a dowry of Rs. 20 lakhs. The reasoning was that he had spent so much money to study in the US and now he is working there, how can he allow his wife enjoy his fruits of labour for free. Why didn’t he become a rickshaw driver, he could have saved himself all the trouble. Then, there is Spooman’s cousin, some obscure TV actor or is that TV Star. Back then his rate was 60 lakhs, must have gone up now if he is not yet married. Why? Why? Why would anyone want to pay 60 lakhs to get themselves an anthropoid drone? Is this freakin world for real? If I had sixty lakh rupees I would be in Italy, wooing Italian men, drinking vintage wine, and gorging on Italian food. I am salivating. I hope just thinking about Italian men, Italian wine, and Italian food doesn’t amount to sin.

Coming back to the topic under discussion, two years back my bro’s bihari colleague got married for a cool sum of 8 lakh in cash, a car, assortment of jewellery and of course the dhoom-dhaam se shaadi ka expense. I had pestered my bro to marry a bihari girl, but he wouldn’t give in. He is one of those stupid people who don’t make hay when the sun shines. Especially foolish cause the market is equally good in Andhra (our native place) too. Information on other states is currently in process as soon as it is available it will be published on this blog for general reference. Kindly do not take the rates mentioned in this post as the official rates. Rate of exchange differs depending on individual parties and negotiation is possible.

Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind

I haven’t watched the movie by that name. But I understand the urge to clear one’s mind of everything. It will be so nice to wake up in the morning with nothing on your mind and never wake up in the middle of the night. A mind completely purged, ummmmm very tempting. While am on movies I should mention that I had wanted to watch Omkara, Dor, and Lage Raho Munnabhai but I didn’t watch anyone of them. Have been very busy. You know that state of mind where you keep thinking, oh my god! I got so much to do how can I take time out for anything else.

But I have grown smarter now and spaced things out. And I have resolved to watch every movie I wish. That leaves the problem of finding company. My sister will be the scapegoat. If I ask her to come for a movie with me, her standard answer will be, ek din toh milta hai aaram karne ko, shee Sunday ko nahi. Hehehe, but I am cunning for nothing. I will book the tickets on the net and then tell her. Knowing her she will never want the money to go waste.

Anwar seems like might be interesting, will watch that. There is Dhoom 2, but not even half-naked hot men can make me watch a crappy movie. So for now looking forward to only one movie.

Awrighty then! I was tagged by Essar sometime back. Today after senseless talk with Ganju I am in high spirits and decided to do it.

I am thinking about…
the same thing over and over again.

I said…
all the wrong things

I refuse…
to get conditioned.

I want to…
meet Verma and Balaji, my school classmates. Verma was the 1st ranker in my class. Once during a history exam I had asked her an answer to a question, I knew the answer but wanted to confirm it. According to her the answer was France, but I knew the answer was Spain. Yet I went along with her answer and flunked in history by 1 mark. The point is I clearly remember flunking in history, which means the incident has scarred me for life. Don’t get my intentions wrong, I don’t want to meet Verma to avenge her after all these years. It’s just that she had moved to Delhi after school so I am just curious about what’s up with her now.
In the 10th std., by then I had stopped flunking exams, one of the teachers randomly asked some students what they would like to do in the future. Balaji had said he would want to study microbiology. I remember me turning my head and looking at him with surprise. I went yuck why anybody would want to study biology, I mean if you had to study science, chemistry would be the better choice. The scene is still etched in my mind, I can see it. Since then I have wanted to know if Balaji has actually became a microbiologist.

I wish…
for salvation, if that is too much then I will settle for a good neck and shoulder massage.

I hear…
myself.

I wonder…
all the time

I regret…
nothing. And I mean it. I have raked my brain but found nothing to regret about.

I am…
filhal toh nothing

I dance…
I cannot dance to save my life. If I was Basanti, Veeru would be dead and history would be different.

I sing…
very often, no matter how many people ask me to shut up. I love to hum meaningful lyrics.

I cry…
when I can’t hold my tears back.

I am not always…
strong.

I make with my hands…
expressions.

I write…
to churn some thoughts out of my mind.

I confuse…
nobody.

I need…
to be reticent.