In a crowd I am alone
incessant talk breaks through
wandering mind
reverie broken brings a smile
Like maxi said
All those who wander are not lost.

My eldest sister (akka) thinks I am a punk. I am not into body piercing or tattooing or coloured hair and the works. It’s just that I love wearing anklets and besides that my dressing style doesn’t go down well with her.

Pulse had given an anklet for me to Akka, with the anklet I got her trade mark lecture about how I wear junk and inappropriate clothes and all that. My parents were in the same room so I asked them why they didn’t think of putting my sis up for adoption when she was born. At which my dad remembered an incident that happened when my sis was a year old. It seems amma had gone out somewhere and my sis started crying. So my dad picked her up to calm her down and what did my sis do, she scratched my dads face real badly.

I just couldn’t stop laughing when I heard that. I said see that’s why you should have given her up for adoption. If you had learnt your lesson then I would have been spared moral lectures now. It’s nice to be the youngest in the house you can get away with anything, even panga’s with your sis who is about 250 tonnes of bone crunching muscles and if she really puts her mind to it can give Sunny Deol a tough time.

A Child's Surprises

The first time amma was down with fever I was in primary school. I was surprised and shocked that she could fall ill too. For me she was this super being who was above us mere mortals.

The day the doctor’s mother in our neighbouring block died I was surprised. What was the point being a doctor if you couldn’t make your mother live forever.

The first time I went to my native place I was surprised that there were people in this world who couldn’t speak hindi and they still managed to survive.

Raju adored me. He was diagnosed with bone cancer and eventually passed away. I was surprised.

Once dad bought a huge chocolate cake on my sis Pallavi’s birthday and invited all our friends home, that was some surprise.

A pleasant surprise would be good to break the monotony.

Bangalore Day 2 - 9th Dec.

I woke up at 9.30 in the morning thanks to the grumbling noises made by my stomach. Viyer’s last night’s or rather early morning exploits evidence was lying on the living room sofa, she had managed to finish the leftover Veg Kolhapuri, Paneer masala, a bowl of curd and a small vessel of jelly. I gorged on bananas and Lays chips. (I did brush my teeth before eating) Read newspaper something which I don’t do in Mumbai. Checked on Viyer she was fast asleep, didn’t have the heart to wake her up. Not that she would wake up, after all she is Kalyug ka Kumbakaran.

Went to the terrace, the weather in Bangalore is really good, you can actually get out of your house anytime of the day just to while away your time. Came back read, ‘Hitchhiker’s Guide ……….’ for some time and then went off to sleep. Woke up in the afternoon, for the same reason – hunger. This time even Viyer woke up, we ordered Pizza and Garlic bread. Ate, then I listened to some music then went off to sleep again. Some time late evening we woke up, no clue what time. Made some coffee and also drank it, listened to some more music.

Viyer had to go to office that evening, I panicked, there was no way I was going to sleep alone in a new house, in an unknown locality where I don’t even know the neighbours. And the fact that I had watched ‘The Exorcism of Emily Rose’ on Sunday before leaving for Bangalore didn’t help me. The movie is not very scary but the demons in that movie come out every night at 3.00am what if that day they decided to come to JP Nagar find me alone and decide to possess me. I couldn’t take such a risk. So Viyer called up her aunt who stays nearby and asked if I could sleep at their house that night. Aunty said no issues and asked us to be at her house by 10.00pm.

We went out for dinner and wanted to go to Corner House and have this dessert called, ‘Death by Chocolate’ (more about it later) but decided against it as we didn’t want to be late. Viyer’s aunt and uncle are really nice people they made me feel very comfortable. Very sweet of Viyer too, to inform aunty that I will need drinking water during the night. Once Viyer left uncle gave me 4 books to read, probably he thought I was some kind of a genius who could finish reading 4 books in a night. I did read 1 chapter from this book ‘The Guru Of Joy by Francois Gautier. Interesting book, I will buy it. Bangalore has quaint houses which are right there on the road, so the whole night you hear vehicles passing by. Second night in Bangalore spent snuggled in and safe at Viyer’s aunt’s house.

Bangalore Day 1 - 8th Dec

The flight was delayed by about an hour. So it left after 12 noon and we reached Bangalore at 2.00pm. Manju and I both had to go to Bangalore so thought will travel together. While we were waiting noticed a girl wearing a sexy ghagra with a tshirt and a dupatta, what a great ensemble! Then there was this I am the dude types with Harley Davidson belt and a tight tee. The most interesting person was this guy who resembled Emran Hashmi and was walking around with a pout. I even imitated him there at the airport and caught some people looking at me and trying to figure out if I was harmlessly mad or just mad.

Once we boarded the plane messaged my friend The Viyer who was gonna pick us up from Bangalore airport, that we are finally on our way. As usual Viyer was not on time but this time she blamed the traffic and not her erratic sleeping habits. We were famished; so Viyer ordered food on the way to her house to save time. Full of self importance she said how when she was new in Bangalore, she had to ask others to order food for her, things have changed now ‘The Order becomes the Ordee’. Reached her house, made coffee and the food arrived. Gorged on the food and then we just relaxed. (in girlie terms it means we talked non-stop) Manju was picked up by her friend in the evening and Viyer and me went to the market, bought some fruits, vegetables and masala. Its funny how Viyer speaks to everybody in Bangalore in Tamil and they reply in Kannada or Tulu, God knows if they understand anything she says, but they do reply. I have concluded that any tongue twisting language goes down well with them.

We picked up 3 VCD’s and went home. Put all the stuff away and then went for dinner with Manju and her friend. This restaurant we went to they started closing it at 10.30pm, for God sake in a city who shuts down restaurants so early. But they did not lock us in they allowed us to complete our dinner and leave.  After 9.00pm rickshaw wallahs rule, not a single one wanted to take us home, one agreed but wanted 30 bucks for a minimum fare distance. Finally viyer and I reached home we put ‘When Harry Met Sally” on, (I had not watched this movie before) 15 minutes into the movie and it got stuck. After waiting patiently for few seconds for it to start again, we gave it some gallis, to be precise we said ‘teri jaat pe baida maru’ and it started working another 10 minutes and stuck again. This time even gallis couldn’t make it work. We struggled with it for some time and finally gave up. Viyer suggested I should go to Mumbai and watch this movie.

The twice of us started talking, we had to catch up on a lot. We didn’t realize how long we been up, I looked at the clock and it was 5.00am. We decided to sleep, every time I would doze off Viyer would ask me historical questions like when did we go to Malavali, when is your birthday and the like. She allowed me to sleep at around 6.00 only because she was hungry and had gone to the kitchen to hog on whatever was leftover from the lunch. And I slept peacefully.

Rendezvous With...

The realization hit me like a meteor. (Not that a meteor has ever hit me, nice things these meteors are) The work that I found boring and not stimulating; work that brought tears of sadness in my eyes and made me kneel down and cry. I have fallen for this work.

How and when it happened I can’t say, the process has been gradual. The Alchemist says if you really want something the whole universe conspires to make your wish come true. In my case it was just the MSEB* that had to be put in action to fulfil my subconscious wish. Consciously I have never wanted to fall for my job.

One fine day the MSEB decided to cut power for an hour or two every evening. The power would go off every evening and we would be plunged into darkness. We have backup power for the computers so work had to be continued in spite of no light. The beauty of working with just the faint light from the computer piercing through the velvety darkness spread in the office has to be experienced to be felt and appreciated.

Once the darkness fell I would be oblivious to my surrounding and just work and work. My colleagues were baffled to see this change in me. A girl who would do anything to get away from doing something constructive in the office had judiciously started paying attention to the much-neglected computer.

This continued for sometime and with each passing day I grew more loving and patient towards people around me. Oblivious I had been but not so much that I could work without able to see the keyboard or knowing what my hands would hit next. So one fine evening I lit a candle, and during that candle light work session I realised that I was besotted with my work. And thus started my rendezvous with my job.



*Maharashtra State Electric Board

I have found wings and I am flying high.
Bird’s eye view has a new meaning now.
Flying yet grounded at the same time
Grinning ear to ear
Oh God is this for real.

Haan toh 18th ka meet pakka kya. Sab log aane ka.

Ganju bhai ne bol diya hai toh bol diya hai.
Bhaar waalon ko bole toh woh jo Bambai ke bhaar rehte hai, unko maaf hai.
kya hai ke kaam Kaaj chod ke kidhar aayenge na bhatakne ko Bambai mein.
Waise toh apne bhai bot samajhdar aur bade dil ke hai,
lekin Bambai ki public nai aayi na toh baja dalenge sabki.

Badme bolne ka nai vaarning nai diya tha.

Horny Tail

Startling news that will leave everybody startled at least it left me startled. When I stopped being startled I thought of spreading the news as far as possible. Spreading news and gossiping are two different things. The authenticity of this news is not questionable as it comes from the reliable source called my brain.

As believed Nigar Khan was not deported back to Norway because her visa had expired but because Bipasha had wanted to. Now the question is what did Ms. Basu have to do with Ms. Khan. Bips baby is the reigning queen of horny expression. Stories, cast, directors, seasons, government and boyfriends can change but Ms. Basu’s expression remains constant. Now this kind of consistent performance is possible only through hard work. How could a wannabe from Norway come and try to usurp Ms. Basu’s position.

Smart babe (oink) that Ms. Basu is she complained to the Concerned Authorities (CA) about Ms. Khan’s copying habits. They assured her that action will be taken against the culprit and she can continue to reign. Well Ms. Khan is not the one to be easily unnerved; with her husband Mr. Sahil Khan supporting her she made a complaint against Ms. Basu. Her complaint stated that she is not a copycat she was born with a horny expression unlike some who have to work hard to master it.

The authorities were now actually concerned who do they take action against. A junior CA had a brilliant idea he suggested that they watch both the “Stars” videos and then decide who is better and who gets to rule as the horniest of them all. It took them 2 days to finish watching Ms. Basu’s renowned work. The 3rd day they started with Ms. Khan’s video’s, in mid session 3 (including the junior CA with the brilliant ideas) of the 6 CA’s complained of upset stomach as they could not digest the fact that Ms. Khan could come up with such brilliant and mind blowing work and at the same time maintain a horny expression. They had to be hospitalised where they are recuperating. It was an unanimous decision by the Concerned Authorities (CA) both well and unwell that Ms. Nigar Khan should be deported back to wherever she came from as her work though brilliant would be hazardous to the our country’s digestive system.

Now that the real story is out please do not judge Ms. Basu on this incident, she is still the best among them.

The pre-historic humans must have really and I mean really pissed off God, for her to give every post-historic human some relatives.

At 7.10 (a little late than usual) in the morning today went down for a walk, there was this school bus loaded with gleeful kids in front of my building. It couldn’t move as a car was blocking its way and the bus driver was busy in turns honking and asking the car whom it belonged to. It belonged to my next door neighbour. Since I am a socially responsible person and didn’t want the kids to get late for school I went upstairs and told my neighbour that the car needs to be moved. Then I went down again and told the bus helper that the owner of the car is coming down and turned to start walking. At that moment two dudes jogged past me, unbelievable and unacceptable two dudes in my colony and I have never seen them. I made a mental note to change my morning walk time from 6.30 am to 7.15 am.

Everything is Arranged

I had to do an article on arranged marriages for my office website. I have been thinking of doing it for sometime now, but once I got down to work I just couldn’t write anything. There was so much in my mind but I couldn’t put words to my thoughts, I wondered why. Then I realised it is a kind of a topic where I can state my opinion and not just give some facts like in the year 1700 BC Indians decided to arrange marriages, before that marriages were arranged too but in that particular century it was a conscious decision. It’s like nobody knows why marriages are arranged by parents or elders, why not just like the other animals on planet earth once human kids grow up they are free to go around and mark their territory.

But I guess I just know the reason why it is different for us humans. We are such crazy species with all these traditions and regulations we still do not behave ourselves, think what it would be like if we were on par with the other animals. The other poor species would have prayed to whatever supreme power they pray to for another planet far away from Earth.

What’s all the hoopla about marriage in the first place? If you are the kind who is not scared of commitment then arranged or love marriage you are going to work at it. And if you are the types who gets a cold feet by just thinking about commitment and all you seek is the initial euphoria that one feels when one is attracted to somebody, then boss love will very soon fly out of the window whether you are married or not. So it boils down to this arranged or love it works if you want it to work.

And what makes us think that we are making the choice to marry someone if it’s a love marriage and vice versa if it’s arranged. Somebody somewhere has written a script for us and has decided the cast too and then sent us down here to just playact. So whether we meet our life partner through parents, friends, matrimonial, in a pub, in the office, on a bus stop, in an elevator, however and wherever, somebody has arranged this meeting. So stop thinking too much, if you wanna get married go ahead do it, if you don’t then please do not even for your parents or society or any other such silly reasons.

Either ways it should be bliss.

The latest Airtel ad campaign got me thinking about all the Airtel ads. As far as I remember all of them have been able to touch a chord with the audience airtel users or not.

The one I very clearly remember is the one with A R Rahman, where he is trying to make a cranky kid feel good by playing ‘harmonica’. He then calls his recordist and plays the tune, he says its nice, want to add something more? He meets some musicians one playing a flute another some kind of a drum, then he passes by a concert. All the while he transmits the music to the recording studios through airtel. I don’t think music has ever been used so beautifully in an ad Campaign.

Another one was the game thing with Sachin and Shahrukh, not something I would care for, but cannot over look the fact that lots of research must have backed the decision to make this ad. What with movies and cricket being nothing less than religion in India.

Or the campaign before the latest one, where a phone rings and everybody around checks to see if it’s theirs. But in each one of the ads in this series, it’s always somebody who is not expected to own a phone that gets the call. Says a lot for our economy in general and also drives home the point that airtel is so affordable anybody can use it.

I do not remember all of their ads, but the latest one is my favourite. Their campaigns have always been people centric but this one takes the cake. ‘Dil ki baat zubaan par laakar toh dekho’. How simple is that. Have always loved the Hutch campaign too, but don’t seem to have watched any lately. Watching TV is sometimes interesting thanks to such campaigns.

Seven Colours

Hurray! I am off the tag. :-) Anks this is for u.

Seven Things you want to do before you die:
Learn to ride a bicycle
Travel to places less known
Find love and then not lose it
Become a mother
Learn to swim
Learn to jive
Just chill chill just chill


Seven Things you can do:
I can laugh
I can cry
I can eat
I can sleep
In spite of being literate I can do a thumb impression
I can be a friend
I can daydream and daydream and daydream, it just doesn’t end


Seven Things you say most:
Pakao
Yeah Sure
Shady
What’s wrong with me!
You are dead
Are u for real?
You are being ignored


Seven Things you can't do:
Cannot ride a bicycle
Cannot play games (aint talking abt. Sports here)
Cannot love maths and cockroaches
Cannot hate
Cannot stay angry for long
Cannot stop asking rhetoric questions
Cannot swim


Seven Things that attract you to the opposite sex:
Honesty
Smile
Attitude
Intelligence
Ability to laugh at self
(this is difficult, I give up)


Seven Celebrity crushes:
Amitabh Bachchan
Val Kilmer
Chetan Bhagat
(seven is too much)

Blessed is how I feel.

Showing off your new car or cell phone, designer clothes, designer apartments is passé. The new trend is to show off the perfect child, so if you have conceived a child and the doctor tells you the child might have an extra thumb or a deformity like hare lip then what you do is get it aborted. The news made me sick but did not upset me very much. The reason is I am absolutely sure that for every one of such freak couple there must be 100 couples out there who bring a child in this world for love.

Great are those people who find the courage and affection to love and care for kids with physical or mental disability. Parents for whom their child is the first priority and everything else is incidental. I thank God for surrounding me with people who love me in spite of my imperfections.

Bliss

Slept like a log in the afternoon today. Woke up with a heavy head, felt like a cup of tea, made tea but then didn’t feel like drinking it. Went down to the garden with the big swing, hallelujah, the swing was not occupied.

From where I was swinging could see a beautiful crescent moon in the sky and the Sun wasn’t even close to setting. Two small kids came to the garden first they went and sat on the bench, and then slowly the girl approached the swing and made herself comfortable. Her brother followed her, he wouldn’t sit next to me asked his sister to shift and sat in the corner. I thought wait till you grow up boy and all you will want is a reason to sit besides girls. I started swinging a little hard for the kids.

Looked at the sky again noticed a lone star a little far away from the moon. They looked close to me, but they must be so far away on the vast sky. If I had a celestial pencil I could have drawn a straight line between them, a road for them to travel and meet midway. It was a foggy sky, the only thing visible was the crescent moon and the star both beautiful both alone.

I felt a sting on my left wrist I looked it was a mosquito. I hit it with my other hand, the little girl who had been observing me all the time thought I had clapped and she clapped too. Very rarely do I come across such innocence these days, even among kids. When I was a kid innocence wasn’t a rare commodity, I don’t know about the adult world but in my small world it wasn’t. My world has changed change is the only constant. Life is a paradox.

I make no sense

Men have suddenly started looking fair and handsome, thanks to e-mami (enabled Mami) fairness cream. The pledge that we read in school something that went ‘I love my country, all Indians are brothers and sisters, every citizen is equal and blah blah blah…………. has finally been proved right. Men and Women are now equal in the real sense in India both have their own fairness cream. Now that my brethren have their own fairness cream they can come out of the closet and even if they don’t drink Coca-cola, they can live sar uthake.

I have gone crazy so I asked Dim if I have stopped making sense. He gave me that look which he gives me whenever I torture him beyond his endurance. About his endurance the little I say the better. So the look, it’s a hard, pitiful, scornful, I want to kick your butt and also slap you, is this really happening, can somebody please take her away…….. all in one look. Dim has mastered this look thanks to me. Finally he said, what is it that you want from me sir? Why do you keep asking such questions?

I asked Maxi the same question, he said I will tell you one thing, you have never made sense. That reassured me. Didn’t bother to ask Kathy, he is not at his insulting best, he is physically present here, but his mind is in Goa.

Today Ganju is back, thot will ask her. But she looks completely disoriented. This happens with Mumbaites all the time, they leave the city for a couple of days and when they are back the chaos just engulfs them and they go around with that dizzy look in their eyes for days.

It’s great to make no sense when everything around you makes so much sense. I know that did not make sense.

I wish to travel the world

I made a friend recently yesterday we decided to go out for lunch with another of his friend who is from Singapore. We went to Haji Ali to meet her there another lady was accompanying her, she is from the USA. It was great to meet these people we talked so much especially about movies. It was great because otherwise it is so difficult to make conversation with people. And here we were complete strangers yet we communicated like we had known each other always.

It’s strange how we meet people and we just click and don’t mind talking to them about anything and everything even sharing personal details. This girl from US has travelled a lot she’s been to Japan, Malaysia and many more places. Now she is in India, Mumbai and plans to go to Pune where she will be involved in voluntary teaching work for street kids. Here was someone who had come all the way from US and was going to Pune and I have lived all my life in Mumbai and have never been to Pune. How contrasting is that?

I too want to travel the world. Somebody please say Amen.

Ganju chali Sasural

That time of the year when there is an overdose of sweets and pollution. Its Diwali.
I love the lights and lanterns that are put up. I just love this season that starts with Diwali and ends with the New Year.
If only people could celebrate it with out making so much noise.

Gambling on Diwali is compulsory at office. It is said that if we lose on Diwali day, we gain throughout the year.
Last year I had won some miniscule amount. The following year hasn't been very fruitful.
So this year I have decided to lose even though I am a pro at gambling.

Ganju will not be here. She is going to celebrate Diwali in Chennai. Her sasural is in Chennai.
News is that its raining water at Chennai, hence her trip could be cancelled. I pray to god,
please let her reach Chennai. The train schedules can be cancelled when she wants to come back.

Happy Diwali it is.

What's in a name?

Lots of fun if your name is anything like my name. I am called laxmi at home and in the neighbourhood. When I was a kid there was this younger kid called Bradley who just couldn’t say laxmi, so he called me dappatti. His uncle who happened to be my tuition teacher would say, Bradley why do you take the trouble of calling her dappatti, why not just call her chapatti. I would have called him (Bradley) names too, but then there was his uncle to be considered.

During my days of technical support for Americans, one of my colleagues got a caller (read moron) who insisted to know his real name, as we used pseudo names on the phone. My colleague wasn’t very keen about giving out his name, but the caller persisted. So he told him his name is Pravin. No marks to guess the caller couldn’t pronounce his name correctly, Pravin had a great idea and he said this is nothing now try saying Bhagyalaxmi. The caller had to be taken to a hospital for mental trauma. Pravin and me almost lost our jobs.

Yesterday at the hospital a woman asked me my name, I told her my name. She said, ‘bahut hard naam hai’. Well ma’am wait until I change my name to Sparklingwater. Is it soft enough?

Luck and Bird Crap

They say if a bird craps on you it is a good luck sign. Well of all the clothes that my mom hangs in the balcony to dry, they (not the ones that talk about the birds and luck but the birds themselves) always choose to crap on my clothes and I mean always without fail.

Don’t know what’s happening with all that luck, maybe it’s accumulating for some later time. Right now things are just not working for me as far as my job is concerned. No matter what I do I have just not been able to meet my targets. Too much stress, that’s ok, there isn’t a job that is not stressful. But now my integrity is questioned why cause there is no tangible proof to show that I am putting in a lot of effort. Sincerity and hard work don’t speak, only results do. They also say that its 99% hard work and 1% luck, that 1% luck has been eluding me for a long time now.

It has started affecting me, I never new what mood swings were until now. I just don’t feel like talking to anybody, if somebody says something I feel like asking them to shut up. I don’t smile much cause my smile doesn’t reach my eyes anymore. Because I know I am being judged not for what I am but for how successful I am.

Thankfully I don’t feel this melancholy at home and I am still able to humour myself, I am still patient. Guess all that bird crap is responsible that I am still able to keep good sense.

These words by Javed Akhtar, sum up my feelings really well.
“Aisa nahi ke humko koi bhi khushi nahi,
lekin yeh zindagi toh koi zindagi nahi
Kyun iske faisle hume manzoor ho gaye………”

Ek Kissa

They had met six months back on a flight; he did not notice or hear her he was lost in his thoughts. She touched his arm; the contact brought him out of his reverie. He looked at her, she was beautiful no not really beautiful but she had some alluring quality about her face, very captivating. He decided he liked her so didn’t mind answering her.

He told her his destination was Mumbai, she said, she was heading to Mumbai too. They started chatting; she had this amazing capacity to talk non stop and that too about stuff that made sense to him, his attraction only grew. Once in Mumbai they decided to stay in touch and then went off their own way. Next day he got a call, it was Geeta the same girl he had met yesterday. Talking to her made him happy.

Phone calls became regular, then the meetings and before he could realize he was in love with her. She reciprocated; he couldn’t believe his good fortune. Things continued on the same note, both in love and happy to be together. Last week he had to go on a business trip, Geeta was not very happy about it he thought she really loved him and the thought made him very happy.

He came back today and called her the first thing, a male voice on the other end.

Him : May I speak with Geeta?
Other Person : She has forgotten her cell phone at home.
Him : Who’s on the line?
Other Person : This is Dinesh, Geeta’s husband. May I know who’s on the line?
Him : Geeta never mentioned you before.
Other Person : Oh I was abroad for the last 6 months. May I get your name and message?
Line Disconnected.


He is standing by the window; Bhupinder’s soothing voice is wafting towards him from the Tea stall across the road. He is able to hear these words, “Tere jahan mein...aisa nahin ki pyar na ho....jahaan umeed ho iski....wahan nahin milta.....”

He smiled and closed the window.

Hot Or What!

Saw the new Titan ad with Aamir Khan in it; he looks hot with his long hair and moustache. Though Aamir has always been one my favourite actors I had never found him hot. But his new look for Mangal Pandey is just hot. I can’t believe that I have actually liked a man with moustache; something is not right with me I will have to see my doctor. Oh no! My doctor is another handsome guy with a moustache. God help me!


When I was a teenager I never liked guys with long hair, that doesn’t mean I liked guys with short hair, but long hair was just so unbearable. But all that changed when I watched Brad Pitt in the movie, “The Legend of Falls” and there my dislike for guys with long hair just disappeared. Does it have something to do with growing up?


As if these screen beauties are not enough, Mumu’s friend who is an international model, sports long hair too and I don’t need to add that he looks absolutely ravishing; Brad Pitt and Aamir Khan will have to fall in line behind him. No Kidding.

I don't know if the claims IIPM makes is correct or far fetched. Management institutes and me have nothing to do with each other. But one thing I definitely know is their reaction to a person's opinion on his personal blog was too defensive. Like they know that their claims are dubious and they will go to any means to cover up their folly.

How many Gauravs are they going to threaten?

Time for them and their likes to understand, "The Pen is mightier than The Sword"

Its Time..........

The time is right. Until now it was more or less about going with the flow and more often than not it was swimming against the current. It’s time to change the flow to suit me.

I am not at a crossroad I don’t have to make a decision, it’s already been made.......... which road to take........ whether I am right or wrong......... will I regret or will I celebrate. No such confusion.

I am on a straight road and I can keep walking on it, but its time to chart my own path. It’s time to stop surviving and start living.

Yes it’s the right time.

Ghanti Aur Khujli - Post Interval

For those who came in late, the story so far, Ghanti is destined to bring electricity to Khujli gaon so he comes to India from the US. Falls in love with a gaon ki gori who ditches him……. Please read further.


Rest Of The Cast

Sky Patel – Abhishek Bachchan
Manchali Sharma – Ayesha Takia
Divyaprakash – Om Puri



Hearing about Ghanti’s heart break, his friend Manchali Sharma decides to come to India to be with him, after all she loves him and he needs love now more than the gaon needs bijli. (electricity) Sky Patel (that’s American for Akash Patel) doesn’t want Manchali to meet Ghanti again as she always loved Ghanti since the time she was two and a half years old and Ghanti and Sky were 3 year old. It was love at first sight for both Manchali and Sky, only problem Manchali fell for Ghanti and Sky for Manchali.
So Sky was sure seeing him again will only spoil the setting for him. With Ghanti not in the picture any more Sky had tried his best to woo Manchali and only today morning at 10.30am she had agreed to marry him and at 10.35am came Ghanti’s phone call and now Manchali wanted to go to India.

Sky tried his best to stop Manchali, he came up with a plan to go to California and sabotage Beejli’s beauty parlour instead. Nothing could make Manchali change her mind, so Sky decided to accompany her leaving behind his research midway on the effect of last minute change of a bride or a groom in a Hindi movie climax, yes Sky Patel is a scientist. So the next day both of them are on board Air India to crash in India.

Ghanti is waiting at the Khujli gaon railway station for his childhood friends Sky and Manchali. The train arrives and there they are on the other end of the platform, wait a minute, is he hallucinating Manchali is in a saree. They come closer and a gust of wind blows, Manchali’s hair and pallu try to fly, she is frantically trying to hold her hair meanwhile the pallu has gone berserk, oops she leaves her hair and holds her pallu and drapes it back at the same moment her eyes meet Ghanti’s eyes. They are transfixed looking at each other, Ghanti……….Manchali………..Ghanti…………..Manchali….
Ghanti says kuch kuch hota hai Manchali, tum nahi samjhogi.
Sky is watching his fears unfold in front of his eyes. If only Manchali had pinned her pallu, but not her fault what did she know about draping sarees, she wasn’t the scientist he was.

Time for a song. A dream sequence involving these 3. Manchali is wearing a white saree in the song and it’s raining. Ghanti is bare chested and Sky is fully clothed.

“Tum pass aaye, pallu giraye, tumne na jaane kya sapne dikhaye
Ab toh mera dil jage na sota hai, kya karu haye kuch kuch hota hai.”

Ghanti takes his friends to the Sarpanch’s house; his house has a generator hence no problem about lights and air conditioning. They settle in and then set about the task of getting bijli to the gaon. After meeting a lot of people finally somebody tells them about this guy Divyaprakash (DP) who is a pro at getting bijli to gaons. After much searching they find his whereabouts, it seems every Thursday evening DP visits this new and famed club just on the outskirts of Khujli gaon.
Ghanti and Sky decide to go there, but convince Manchali to stay back (while they are going to the club, might as well have some fun)

Time for an item number!

At the club Shamita Shetty and Lara Dutta swinging to the remixed beats of
“Laila main laila laila, aisi hoon laila
har koi chahe mujhse milna akela.”

Item song over, the twosome corner DP and ask for his help. DP tells them the strategy to get bijli for each goan is different and to come up with a plan he has to know everything about the gaon. So Ghanti tells him all that he knows and also about this epidemic of Khujli. DP thinks for some time and comes up with a strategy that he shares with these two, but the strategy is still under wraps cause DP only whispers so that nobody even gets a sniff of the idea.

Ghanti and Sky go to Delhi and meet the concerned authorities for Bijli. They tell them if in a weeks time Khujli gaon doesn’t get electricity they will spread the Khujli epidemic everywhere. You see Sky being a scientist he has managed to catch hold of and store the virus in a small u-shaped glass tube. So now the authorities don’t have any choice and thanks to Ghanti and his friends Khujli goan gets electricity.

Sky tells Manchali that they should get married in India. Manchali is in a Duvidha, she knows Ghanti loves her but she has already given her zubaan to Sky, she can’t go back on it. Ghanti is miserable too, but what can he do after all this years of ignoring Manchali he cannot now ask her to sacrifice her love for Sky (Ghanti is under the impression that Manchali loves Sky) and after all Sky is his friend. Sarpanch chips in and says Manchali’s bidaai should happen from his house after all she is like his daughter and his real daughter had made him bend his head in shame.

Meanwhile Beejli is back, she has realised she really loves Ghanti and gives up her cosy life in the US and comes back. Since she is repenting and to prove that she has stopped giggling everybody accepts her back wholeheartedly including her father. She realizes that Ghanti doesn’t love her anymore he loves Manchali so on the Mehendi ki raat she goes to Manchali and tries to dissuade her from getting married to Sky after all not everybody is lucky to find true love and she was crazy to settle for less than that. Manchali says that now its too late she cannot change her decision and she doesn’t even know if Ghanti loves her he has never told her, only looked at her with an expression of longing in his eyes.

The day of wedding everybody is miserable, Sky because he knows Manchali is miserable and Beejli cause Ghanti is miserable. After completing few mantras the pandit asks to get the bride, that’s when Sky gets up from his seat and goes in search for Ghanti, everybody is surprised why is the bridegroom leaving now. He finds Ghanti outside the pandal and asks him to come with him, they go in. Manchali is now sitting near the pavitra agni with her head bent down hence she doesn’t see the two guys coming in. Sky says he cannot get married, aghast expressions on everybody present there, only Ghanti is happy but trying to hide his expression. Manchali is surprised and looks up with tears in her eyes.

Sky says he cannot possibly get married knowing that Ghanti and Manchali love each other and thinks they should get married to each other. Ghanti and Manchali are ecstatic they hug Sky one after the other, Beejli is there too with tears of happiness in her eyes and she feels this new found respect and love for Sky in her heart. The pandit is getting impatient and says whoever is willing to get married please come fast I got other things to do too. Ghanti says but I haven’t shaved today you see I was sad, pandit says its ok, unshaved look is in these days. While the ceremony is on, Sky’s and Beejli’s eyes …….. meet, in the background kuch kuch hota hai……..

Ghanti and Manchali are married, Sky doesn’t have to continue his research he has real life experience now. Romance booming between Sky and Beejli.

THE END

INTERMISSION

Time for some over priced refreshments, if they can be called that.

Ghanti Aur Khujli

It’s about loving your gaon and gaon ki gori.

CAST
Sarpanch : Amitabh Bachachan
Ghanti : Mohit Ahlawat
Beejli : Shilpa Shetty

Rest of the cast to be introduced as & when required.



In a hospital in New York an old man before dying has revealed a secret to his only son who goes by the name Ghanteshwar aka Ghanti. The old man had made a strange request before he died; he wanted Ghanti to visit India, the land of his origin.

Ghanti is back in his apartment, he wants to forget his father’s words, he doesn’t want to believe him, could it be possible that his father was mistaken or had been muttering in a delirious state. But now his father is no more and there is no way to verify what he had said just before his last breath, something inside him was telling him he believed his father and he was going to fulfil his last wish.

In his quest to know more about his birth country the Internet comes to his aide. He finds the information he has been looking for. His father was right, there was a village named khujli gaon in India, which was famous for Khujli epidemics. It was believed that once the gaon gets Bijli (electricity) the Khujli problem would disappear never to return. Also it mentioned a prodigal boy, believed to be the one who would be instrumental in getting Bijli to the gaon (village) once he grows up and he was named Ghanteshwar after the Ghanti in the gaon ka temple. He also finds out that India is a progressive country, people here travel in trains, buses and cars, he heaved a relieved sigh, he had thought he would have to travel on elephants attached with headlights and backlights for traffic regulations and had planned to make a trip to Africa for an Elephant Safari for practise. He learnt that English is a widely spoken and understood language in India, and these people don’t take crash course in English, they are taught English in school. Armed with his newfound knowledge and wisdom about the ancient country India he books a flight on Air India and crashes (oops I mean lands) in Delhi, India.

After being thugged by a few conmen in Delhi he somehow manages to reach Khujli gaon. There he bumps into a lissom lass named Beejli, ( A-haaaa in the background) they look into each other’s eyes and the first song of the movie starts playing in the back ground.

“hmmmmm hmmmmm
Tune mujhe pehchana nahi, jaana main koi anjana nahi
Ghanti hoon main tere gaon ka, Deewana hoon main Deewana nahi.
Hmmmmmmm hmmmmmmmm “

Song over Ghanti says, God they don’t make them like you in the big apple. Beejli giggles and runs away ……… stops …….. looks back, giggles some more and this time runs away for good. Ghanti sighs and heads in the same way that Beejli had taken to find the village sarpanch. He meets the village sarpanch and explains who he is and his reason to visit the gaon and if it will be possible to book him in a five star hotel. The sarpanch realizes that he is talking to the prodigal Ghanti who had left the village with his parents when he was just 3 years old. With tears in his eyes he hugs our hero and calls out to somebody to get mithai, here comes Beejli (A-haaaa) head bent demurely with a tray of mithai. Somehow the gaon ki goris are always decorous around their parents. Ghanti drops the idea of staying in a hotel and accepts the sarpanch’s invitation to live in his house. A function to celebrate the prodigy’s return is arranged. Another song here.

“Dhol bajne lagaaaa, gaon sajne lagaaaa
Apna kuvar aaya, ghanteshwar aaya
Sung apne woh dollars kitne laya hai”

After a few days of sight seeing and getting used to the smells in the gaon, ghanti gets to work about getting Bijli (electricity) to gaon. He has to eat dar dar ke thokare, he gets a first hand taste of our bureaucracy. In between fighting with the Babus for Bijli he gets time to romance our heroine Beejli and one fine day he proposes marriage. Beejli is ecstatic, she runs home (she’s got a thing for running I guess) finds her mom in the kitchen and raising her index finger a la Dharam Paji says, Ma ab hamare sapne poore honge ma, hum gaon mein Beauty Parlour khol sakenge Ma.

Time for a song - dream sequence.

Agar tum mil jao khujli gaon chod denge hum
Tumhe paakar beauty parlour se rishta jod lenge hum
Agar tum mil jao.........

But before Ghanti and Beejli can be tied in the pavitra bandhan of shaadi, there comes an epidemic of khujli. The entire village is affected including Ghanti, Beejli is the only one unaffected. Beejli takes good advantage of her luck and instead of Ghanti gets married to Rahul from California, who promises her she can have her own Beauty Parlour in the USA. Ghanti is heart broken, for the first time since his arrival to Khujli gaon he goes to the temple and talks to God, he says, khush to bahut hoge tum, maine maangi thi Beejli aur tumne dee mujhe khujli. Impressed by his dialogue God repents and heals everybody in the gaon. Ghanti now puts his heart in his cause but he can’t help but think of Beejli once in a while. He accepts his pain and sings this song.

“Dil ke tukde tukde karke muskurate chal diye
Jaane wale yeh toh bataa ja hum bajenge kiske liye”

Bursting Emotions
Afraid to let go
Scared of feelings exposed
Ecstasy and pain two sides of the same coin.
Anguished thoughts
Tears shielded by smile
Innocence lost, vision distorted
Ignorance was bliss

India Empowered

Indian Express is currently running a campaign called ‘India explained i.e India empowered’ where they get well known and established entities in their respective field to put in words their idea of what an empowered India means to them. I couldn’t help writing down what India empowered means to me.

To me an empowered India means a country that ceases to live in the shadow of its past or hold on to its past glory. Able to take stock of its present condition and come to terms with the truth it discovers and make efforts to bring the grandeur back to this ancient land of spiritualism and philosophy. The question that arises is who will do that, who has the time, everybody is busy with their individual lives, some will say it is the Governments responsibility what can I do, I am just an individual and I have my own responsibilities. It’s all about a mindset and the need of the time is for individuals to think and act and not follow crowd mentality. Just think for a moment doesn’t a backward India only make you backward and in the process stop you from growing as an individual.

This paradox of billion peoples that is India - our beliefs and our actions are always in contradiction. The philosophy that a soul is immortal, death is not the end, and each life is just a phase that we go through is the essence on which the Indian culture and civilisation is based. Yet we have a history of being a discriminating race, we are guilty of discriminating against other on the basis of caste, gender, region, and languages. The most evil practise being the caste distinction, which no matter how much we deny is still prevalent and practised by even the educated populace. Outside India we are the Indian community or Indian Diaspora, but in India we are never Indian but only a Marathi or a Punjabi or Bengali or Tamilian or a Hindu, or a Muslim, or a christian anything but an Indian. Our identity is always limited to the language we speak or the region we originate from or the religion we follow. The day we divest ourselves from such shackles and accept our identity as just an Indian, that is the day when India will be truly empowered.

The world is now waking up to the idea of a divine feminine power, whereas in India the feminine power was always prayed to in the form of Shakti. But on the other hand the women where and in some parts still are treated as inferior. This has to change and this change can be brought about only by a change in attitude in women. Fighting for equality is not the cue, fighting for the right to independence, the right to education, the right to decide, the right to respect is needed. This can be achieved only on an individual level and not by reserving seats for women in the parliament or state buses. Women of India should realize that in the bargain to achieve these goals they should not lose touch with the essence that makes a woman, or else they will be only emulating the behaviour they have been fighting all along.

It’s time for a change in attitude with regards to education. It’s not just about a means to earning a livelihood and raising your standard of living. The conventional light in which education is seen has to be changed. Education is about learning, exploring, discovering and inventing all of which is curbed by the current approach to teaching and learning. Everybody agrees that education is the only way to lift the people out of poverty and ambiguity. Here too it is up to an individual to make a difference, toddlers are sent to expensive play schools so that they learn at a very early age to be part of the rat race and they are not left behind. If only each one of us who can afford such expensive education for our own kids would take responsibility of one poor child’s education it will make all the difference.

The need is to accept what we are with dignity and work towards achieving the pride this nation deserves and not bow out to inverted nationalism that is sold out to us in the name of patriotism.

These lines from the song in the movie Pyasaa though 5 decades old still stands true.
“zaraa is mulk ke rahabaron ko bulaao
ye kuuche ye galiyaan ye manzar dikhaao
jinhen naaz hai hind par unako laao
jinhe naaz hai hind par vo kahaan hain
kahaan hain, kahaan hain, kahaan hain”

There is a hope in my heart that someday we will sing Jinhe naaz hai hind par woh yahaan hai, yahaan hai, yahaaon hai, yahaaon hai.

Reclaim Your Lives

After all these years I am still not used to being stared at. What’s with most of the men, why do they have to stare? Agreed and accepted every time they see a new lady they have to check her out, it’s got something to do with their basic nature I believe. Just like they check out new gadgets, cars and the likes women fall in the same category so just check them out. But why doesn’t it end there, why does a man have to stare at a woman whom he happens to see every day, here I am talking about guys at the work place.

At my last job the process I worked in had about 700 people, mostly guys. And for some reason mostly all of them had made staring at girls their hobby. Worked there for 18 months, there wasn’t a single day when I didn’t freak out. I am sure most of the girls who worked at this place now have an attitude issue either they think they are too good to be true or they think they are freaks or circus clowns. I happen to move from one end of this thought spectrum to the other depending upon the positioning of my stars. There was this guy who would keeping staring even when his girlfriend was with him and the girl instead of slapping the guy would look daggers at the being stared at girls. If slapping doesn’t get the results girls do get in touch with me for some really good 3rd degree methods of torture.

Like it isn’t enough that single women have to deal with such men, they have to deal with some over zealous and concerned married women and obscure married men too. This married people have a major issue at hand which if not addressed soon can get out of control. They pester every person who is single to get married more if the happy single happens to be a woman. It’s the ‘why me?’ syndrome, they want everybody to suffer. Some how being married makes them think they are wiser, what’s the connection, don’t ask I don’t know, ain’t married yet.

All these well wishers advice me to get married as soon as possible, I wont get a nice guy once I am over the prime marriageable age. I don’t want to break the illusion so I don’t tell them nice guys do not exist, they never did. Met one such well wisher the other day, she wanted to know when I planned to get married, I said I don’t know, need a guy to get married don’t I, at least the last time I checked the criteria had not changed. She wouldn’t listen to me, told me one has to get married, I asked why, with the, I know something that u don’t know enigmatic look she only repeated that one has to get married.

I have always wondered about this, why so much pressure to get married and that to in a stipulated time frame, like if one gets married at the age of 50 for the first time it’s unacceptable. I think the reason is sex, since our society doesn’t acknowledge pre marital sex, its important to get married and that too at an early age. Does it ever cross their mind that there is more to marriage than that? That somebody might be seeking a companion and they haven’t found one yet, so lets leave them to their own devices and not make it our business to advice them. I mean if sex is all one wants then there are enough people who will oblige. Marriage to me is more than that. To all those wise enigmatic people who make it their business to advice the unenlightened singles I have only one thing to say, ‘Reclaim Your Lives Guys’, if you don’t have any bright ideas go buy a Tata Safari.

All For A Pay

Boss and Ganju were supposed to go for a client meeting today, but for some unfathomable reason Boss opted out and made me a Bakra to accompany Ganju. Thankfully I was informed about this yesterday, I refused to go, Ganju tried emotional blackmail. She said ok then I will go alone if you don’t want to come with me. In spite of myself I felt sorry for her and decided to confront boss.

Went to his cabin and fortunately at that moment remembered that the boss pays my salary so instead of confronting him, just informed him that I cannot possibly go as I have loads of work. Boss said ok ask Ganju if she will go alone, I looked at her she was in tears, so I relented and agreed to accompany her.

Anyways I was going so thought might as well impress her clients so wore a saree. Reached office to find it closed had to wait out until somebody came and opened it, meanwhile two girls from the neighbouring office started grilling me they wanted to know if something’s special today I said no I wear clothes everyday.

Boss came and opened the office, Ganju came in a little late and then we left for the meeting. Took a cab from Bhandup to Malad, that’s like travelling from Mumbai to Pune (at least on this route the roads are good and you are glad that you are getting out of Mumbai) Once the meeting started as usual Ganju was in the limelight (after all its her client meeting) and I was just occupying a chair and every time the firang client looked at me I feigned interest and would nod my head. Like acting dumb was not enough I had this great urge to relieve myself. Once the meeting was over that’s exactly what I did. I came back to only find that another guy had come in and was carrying on with the meeting I just waited outside and chatted with some HR people.

After another hour Ganju came out, we managed to avoid the Malayali HR guy who wanted to take Ganju to the canteen for lunch and went to a good restaurant nearby and had scrumptious meal. Wanted to come back to the office and go off to sleep, but instead wrote this post.

Now Ganju is gone home and I am still in the office trying to catch up with the day’s work. All this because of the timely reminder yesterday, of the source of my monthly pay. :D

Communication

With the arrival of internet and email services postal services are no longer a much needed means of communication at least in cities and among the educated population. The only time now I see a postman is when he visits us in Diwali for Bakshish. Godolphin’s last post about things we miss made me ponder what if computers become a thing of past some day, then what? What will be our mode of communication then, will technology evolve much more or will it be our minds.

Just a vague hypothesis, if we stop relying on technology and start using our minds to communicate. What will it be like if we communicate through telepathy? When computers where invented they were few and far, not everybody could afford a personal PC. Internet cafes started sprouting like soaked beans. Emails was a new idea, people were not really comfortable with the machine. Even I was scared of computers and would prefer sending mails and cards by post or courier. But eventually the craze caught up and here I am trying to tame this stupid machine, which is always one up on me with its new errors and viruses. My point is we are now comfortable with this machine, its part of our lives now, just like a toothbrush, we do not miss the old services only remember them once in a while nostalgically.

May be someday communicating through computers would be passé and we will be dependant only on our own resources. We will be able to send and receive messages instantly, not that we cannot do that with computers. But both the parties involved have to be accessing the computers at the precise time. Whereas if we transmit a message through telepathy the moment you have thought of it, there in a few seconds or minutes its been received and you don’t even have to type it. Not everybody has access or can afford to buy a computer same way not everybody will be evolved enough to use their mind for communication. Hence may be we will have Kiosks or cafes where people with highly developed and channelled minds will be at our service to transmit messages. Postman’s in an entirely different perspective. And no cost involved, the hardware is already there our mind functioning as processor, memory and hard disk. No tension of servers crashing or virus attacks or mail boxes full of spam. Uninterrupted transmission to any part of the world or should I say Universe.

Fair is Beautiful

When is this perception going to change, I hope in this lifetime (nahi toh main kunwari hi reh jaoongi) I don’t want to go through few more reincarnations only to be born again in India to find that I still do not qualify as beautiful. Mommy tells me, you meet so many guys, why don’t you find somebody (to get married that is, nobody is lost here). I say but mommy I am not beautiful cause I am not fair, she will never agree to this according to her I am the prettiest girl in the world, love her for that. Alright lets not sidetrack lest this post becomes a melodramatic mother daughter love saga.

I tell mom but mom nobody likes a dark girl, haven’t you seen the Fair & lovely, FairGlow, Fairever, Freschia, Vicco Turmeric ads and the latest entry from Shehnaz Hussian’s kitty. (she i.e Shehnaz Hussain desperately needs a makeover, how long can somebody go around looking like a henna haired bear) Mom will argue but you were born fair. Mum it’s been decades since I was born thanks to the exposure to the harmful rays of the sun I am now melanin challenged. If only you had barred me from stepping out of the house and not allowed me to hop around like a tomboy today I would be pale as death, but at least fair and beautiful. Even if a guy would like me his mother will reject me outright, what if her pota-potis are born dark, nopes she cannot take such a risk. Aakhir aane wali generations ka sawaal hai.

In the face of such conclusive proof that only fair is beautiful mom doesn’t argue anymore.

55 words

It was dark and lonely she felt somebody following her. She hastened her steps, but the feeling persisted. She hid in an alley, waiting to catch her stalker .......... still waiting ....... there is nobody. She is relieved. She comes out and starts walking leaving her fear behind. Courage joins her it was following her all along.

Abducted Floater Found in a Mangled State

DISTRESS NEWS SERVICE
16 September, 2005

Theft of a floater was reported on Wednesday evening. The floater belonged to Bhagya and was stolen by a dog from outside the Yoga classes she attends. She had to go back home barefoot, her trauma did not end there. Next day morning the floater was found in an extremely mangled condition and was thrown away without her permission. She has written to the Corporator of Lake Town, who has promised her a committee will be set to investigate the matter. Police have dismissed involvement of any gang of dogs; they have proof to believe that this is the work of a lone hungry dog. Similar incidents have been reported earlier too and residents of Lake Town feel the security measures taken by the police are not enough. Dim a friend of Bhagya’s said, it is very unfortunate that the floater was stolen and then found in such a bad state, really unfortunate. Kathy on condition of anonymity said that this was bound to happen someday. Ganju another colleague of the victim (Bhagya) was too excited to comment. Please observe two minutes of silence in solidarity for the lost floater.

Tiff

Had a tiff with the BEST Bus Driver today. After waiting for 15 minutes a bus for my route came, there was already a bus at the bus stop hence this bus had to stop behind it, so I got in from the front door. The driver stopped me and rudely said, "yahan se kyun chadh rahi ho", I said aapne yahaan pe bus roka isliye yahaan se chadh rahi hoon.

My answer only made him more angry, he said,"Toh main kya bus aage wale bus par chadhaoon, I said, Maine kab yeh kahaan, mujhe peeche tak chal kar nahi jaana tha toh main yahaan se chadh gayi, apka kya nuksaan ho gaya"

Well no need to say, my attitude did not go down well with him. He raised the danda that stops people from getting in or out of the front door and said, "Aap utar jao aur peeche se chadho, I said, Main utar jaungi par aap Bus nahi bhagana. I got down and he brought the bus to the bus stop and stopped at the right place, the back door exactly in front of me, I got in.

If this incident had happened may be a month back, I would have meekly alighted the bus, ran to the back door to get in from there praying that the bus should not start, but this time I stood my ground. Have I become confrontational, Dim thinks I have. But I think I have only stopped taking crap from people.

There is no urge to see you, meet you or know you.
I am sure just like me you have changed too.
After all this years I thought about you
with the intervention of fate I happened to find you.

I decided to make my presence felt,
just incase you thought of me too
I have discovered a passion thanks to you

Heart stops going ummmmmmmmm

Pulse donot read this post, cause I have dissected Salaam Namaste's story. Don't tell me I didnot warn you.

Watched Salaam Namaste yesterday, its an enjoyable movie, all colourful and lovely. The first part is very funny and thankfully the second part wasn't dragged too much, though Ms.Ambar does shed few tears between screaming at the top of her voice and dancing in the middle of the night on the streets.

Saif is good like always, though his character Nick is referred to as jerk several times in the movie, I wonder why. Is it his fault that Amby changes her decision and he doesn't. Their relationship is based on mutual understanding and wants. Unfortunately she gets pregnant and in the beginning both agree that abortion is the best way out. But then Amby changes her mind about the baby, she wants it and he doesn't and then starts the tirade about how insensitive and unsupportive Nick is. He does the dishes and cleans the house how much more sensitive do you expect a guy to be, who doesn't even want to be in that situation in the first place. Awright from a woman's point of view maybe he is insensitive, but only because he is angry, if Amby can be angry cause he does not understand, then he has a right to be angry too, cause he feels she does not understand. The fact that he is around while most men would run away makes it clear that he is supportive though in a denial mode, but he will come around and he does.

She is against getting an abortion maybe because the baby is in her, its a life thats growing in her and she feels it and is unable to end it. But the case is not the same with him, he cannot feel like her cause he is not able to understand the transformation she is going through.

So it only shows how important it is to get our priorities right before getting into a relationship. Everything in life comes with a price tag, sometimes much higher than we expect. Once we get down to paying, the heart stops going ummmmmmmmmmmmm.

Tanhayee

Akela pan mehsoos hota tha apni tanhayee ke bina
Kho gayi thi main zindagi ke mele mein
Mushgul rehti thi kaii jhamelon mein
Bhool gaii thi tanhayee ka aalam
Sochana chod diya tha akele mein

Ab phir se saath jud gaya hai tanhayee se
Tanha Dil khil utha hai khushi se
Khud se ab tanhayee mein batein hongi
Suljhenge sabhi maslen aasani se
Umeed hai saath bana rahega tumse
Varna yeh safar katega mushkil se

Mere Ghar ke aage Mohabbat likha hai

"Mere Ghar ka seedha sa itna pata hai
Mere Ghar ke aage Mohabbat likha hai
Na dastak zaroori, na awaaz dena
Mere Ghar ka darwazaa koi nahi hai"



Aisa mera ek ghar ho,
kisi jheel ya behti sarita ke kinare.
Jaha pahadon ki chaav ho aur aasmaan ho chath.
Suraj ki kirano se ujala ho aur suraj ke dhalne se andhera.
Aisi jagah mera ek ghar ho.

Ek Ghar jo pyaar, Mohabbat se bhara ho
Aisa ghar jo dharti pe jannat ho
Woh kitabon aur sangeet ka aashiyana ho
Aisa mera ek ghar ho

Phoolon aur paudhon se ghira hua ek ghar
Chand, sitare jahaan se nazar aaye aisa ek ghar.
Pyaar aur Mohabbat se bhara aisa mera ek ghar ho

Isolated Living

Recently my friend Mumu’s fiancé has been looking for a house to buy. Finding a decent house in Mumbai that fits your budget is a difficult task for anybody. It has been more difficult for my friend as she is a Muslim, wonder what that has to do with buying a house; well it does, even in a cosmopolitan city like Mumbai.

When they would contact some builders, he would assure them that he has some nice flats that they will like, the moment they gave their names suddenly the flats would be unavailable. Some of the housing societies very candidly refused to sell them flats stating with a sweet smile Sorry No Minorities. A very frustrating experience for this family, they are nothing but a normal middle class family, which pays their taxes like every other person and don’t make much fuss about who their neighbour is. Are we so narrow-minded, intolerant and discriminating that we take away the right to dwell in a place of our choice on the basis of religion.

Even when we were looking for a house, the first question the broker asked us was are you guys vegetarian or non-vegetarian. When we said that we are non-vegetarians, he straight away told us that in that case it won’t be possible to get a flat in some of the locations we were interested in cause it’s a Gujarati locality and they wouldn’t want meat eaters among them. My question is if we are such bigots then why do we leave our villages, which is made of people of our own communities and settle down in different parts of the world. If we do make other parts of world our home, than what right do we have to impose our beliefs on to others and who are we to discriminate or decide who will stay where.

Another of my friends who happens to be from the same minority faces a similar dilemma. Theirs is the most secular (I can’t use that word without flinching ) family I know. My friend and her sisters would wear bindis, they celebrated Raksha Bandhan and Holi just like any other Hindu family would do, not only that my friend would even accompany me to temples and their entire family would participate in Poojas and other religious festivities. But things changed after the 92 – 93 riots, their house and belongings were destroyed and they moved to a Muslim dominated locality in the far suburbs. Not only has this caused them inconvenience in travelling and access to services like hospitals and good schools, their lifestyle has changed drastically. My friend and her sisters have to now cover their head whenever they go out, they do not go out anymore in the late evenings. Very recently I asked her why don’t they shift back to wear they lived earlier, to which she said…….. peechle baar jaan toh bachi thi, agli baar woh bhi nahin bachi toh. So now they make do with a conservative lifestyle, even though they do not like it.

I am not being spiteful about any one community or religion, I am only wondering what makes us discriminate or think that we and our practices are superior to others? And in the long run where will such demographic shifts based on caste, class, religion lead us. No matter how educated and modern we would like to think we are somewhere the discriminating behaviour is deep rooted in our psyche.

It's a Calling

Finally I have realised the purpose of my life. It happened yesterday, in the office as I was dozing off, as usual after lunch (sometimes I doze off before lunch too), the realisation dawned on me. If my blog could inspire somebody to create a blog, then imagine my potential to inspire people in every aspect of their lives. Then and there I decided what my future course in life would be, no I haven’t decided to join English Speaking Classes, I have decided to become a Spiritual Guru.

I think my Grandmother had foreseen this possibility when I was born, hence she named me Bhagyalaxmi, think about the impression such a pious name will have on all those not so evolved people seeking my blessings and wisdom. I can go by the name of Shri Shri Shri Shri Shri…………. Bhagyalaxmi Devi or Mata Karunamayi Bhagyalaxmi. I can already visualize myself in Saffron colour figure hugging gown, of course with time the colours and patterns of the gowns will change.

I am sure of my success as a Spiritual Guru, in fact I feel everything that I have done in my life was to prepare myself for this cause. Years of experience in service industry has taught me virtues like patience, sacrifice, service with a smile even though I would want to do the exact opposite. In my new role all I will have to do is keep smiling and hug people at random, not a difficult job, especially considering the money I will make. Why Random hugs? Well, a hug from Mata B means all your problems solved, if everybody’s problem gets solved who will come back.

A Stroke of Genius

Adversity can actually bring out the genius in a person; I know this from my own experience. Frustration with our job revealed what a mastermind we are, a fact that was well hidden until now. We are into recruitments; our jobs involves finding the right people, and placing them with our clients, sounds very simple, but take my word it is not. And of all the industries we work for IT, an industry with the most unprofessional people. This is my personal view and I am stating it here intentionally to provoke professionals (pun intended) from the IT industry.

These guys are so casual about job change and career moves that 1 person on an average will change 6 jobs in 5 yrs. Incredible I say, absolutely incredible. You call up a guy who has changed his job 4 months back and ask him why is he looking for a change so soon and he will say, I am earning a certain amount now (which is obscenely high) and I think I deserve a 50% raise at this point of time. Ya, sure you deserve a kick on your rear too dude. Like it is not enough to deal with such focused and goal oriented people, we have to deal with idiotic and irrational clients too.

One of Ganju’s clients is so nutty, that she expected a reply to her email on the day we discovered our office was burgled. All these HR people have a modus operandi; they don’t really want to hire people, they just want to torture the consultants. They will give us some requirements and ask us to find some suitable profiles for the same. We work like ants to fulfill their need with a renewed hope in our poor hearts that we will be able to meet our targets. Once we have sent them some profiles they will take a long time to shortlist them, then the interviews will happen and just when we are expecting an offer they will come up with excuses like, we have put the position on hold or the candidate is good, but we will keep him on hold, the best excuse is we have liked the guy, we think he is perfect for our requirement, but we don’t want to hire him why don’t you send us some more profiles, good ones this time. I wish there was a technology to slap people through phone.

Since there is no such technology Ganju and me came up with a substitute, we invented Nano Bum (Hindi for Bombs), known as G&B Nano Bums. In case you are wondering G&B stands for Ganju & Bhagya and not for Golce & Babbana.
So what did we do with these bums, well we planted them in our tormentor’s chaddis. Besides compromising their modesty and colouring their face black, these bums have
transformed them from tormentors to victims. Now the professionals (again pun intended) have stopped applying through us, we just don’t receive any profiles anymore, which means no work, are we happy or what? Our clients are a little thick skinned, they still work with us. One of our clients has even written an apologetic song, please read the same. (unless you want chaddi mein bum) I think it’s a take on a song from the film Masti, anyways never expected much creativity from our clients.


The Song

Interview liya hai, offer tumhein denge
Daga nahi karenge, candidate
Rab ki kasam, Bhagya, Rab ki kasam.

Rukh zindagi ne mod liya kaisa
Hamne socha nahin tha kabhi aisa
Aata nahi yakeen kya se kya ho gaya.
Kis tarha main tormentor se victim ban gaya
Insaaf kar do, mujhe maaf kardo
Itna hi kar do karam
Interview liya hai, offer tumhein denge
Daga nahi karenge, candidate

Arrogance mein ban gaya diwaana
Maine kyun Ganju ko nahin jaana
Chaahat yahi hai ke, is qadar offer doon
CTC mein tere main, do zero aur daal doon
Chain mera le lo, khushi meri le lo
Le lo saare, lelo saare bum
Interview liya hai, offer tumhein denge
Daga nahi karenge, candidate

Mere ashq keh rahe meri kahaani
Inhein samjho na tum sirf paani
Ro ro ke aansuon ke daag dhool jaayenge
Lekien lootein hue modesty ka kya karenge
Offers hum denge, bhool ab na hogi
Karo na tum humpe sitam
Interview liya hai, offer tumhein denge
Daga nahi karenge, candidate
Rab ki kasam, Bhagya, Rab ki kasam.


After the obvious success of our bums, we have decided to market them, in fact a patent is also pending. To market our product we have come with a catchy phrase, “G&B Nano Bum, dur kare sare Gum.”

Once we were friends

Amma said she had called Dada today. I asked her about what Dada said. It seems Dada happened to mention S……………S’s family wants him to get married, they are looking for a girl for him. This conversation transported me back to my childhood, memories of S……… a tall, shy studious boy, much older than me.

He wouldn’t chat with people but would chat endlessly with me…….. the games of chess and scrabble I remember them all. Funny thing this memory is, why do I remember time spent with S so vividly, while the time spent chasing my friends and being chased by them in return is just a haze.

I remember once S had told me about his plans to make a movie, I was delighted, cause I wanted to do the same when I grew up…………..and here was someone to share my dream with, I told him so and he said he knew, and that afternoon, one of the numerous lazy summer afternoons was spent in discussing the story and finalizing the cast………..  the young and their aspirations.

S do you remember the mischievous but shy girl whom you understood………she remembers you and some of her thoughts are filled with you.

Same Difference

Kissi Mahaan aur lambe aadmi ne kahaan tha English is a funny language. Where I am concerned every language is funny. Some excerpts.

Excerpts 1 – Between me & Priyanka (a girl from lucknow)
Me : Priyanka maine naya pendant liya hai tujhe batana hai, mere saath locker room chal na, jaldi chal mujhe batana hai.
Priyanka (exasperated) : Yaar tune already bata diya hai, abhi tu dikhana chahti hai, tum bambaiwale kaisi hindi bolte ho.

Excerpts 2 – Between Me & Nikhil (a guy from Delhi)
Me : Arey Nikhil tera toh popat ho gaya.
Nikhil : Yeh popat kya hota hai.
Me : yaar poooopat, popat nahi jaanta arey woh parrot
Nikhil : acha matlab tota kehna chahti thi
Me (A sheepish expression on my face)

Excerpts 3 – Me & Manav (Again a guy from Delhi)
Manav : Maine fashion street sey T-shirt kharidi
Me : Kitne mein
Manav : do sau mein
Me : tujhe usne shendi lagaya, fashion street mein toh yeh 1 sau mein milti hain
Manav : Yeh shendi kya hoti hai?
Me : Shendi nahi maloom, shendi matlab balon ki chonti ya poni
Manav : haan toh woh dukandaar mujhe woh kaise laga sakta hai
Me : Forget it.

Excerpt 4 : Me, my sister, waiter in a restaurant in Chandigarh
Me : Waiter aap khane ke saath kaanda nahi dete hain
Waiter : Huh?
My sister : arey idiot, kaanda nahi yaha pyaaz bolte hai, tu Maharashtra mein nahi Punjab mein hain. (She will never leave a chance to insult me)
Me (red faced with embarrassment)

Ganju's Identity Crisis

Ganju has taken an offence at being called Ganju. After all the trouble I took to protect her identity, she doesn't appreciate my efforts.
Henceforth I am going to refer to her as Kheema, as she is known in some circles. Weird name yes, but not weirder than the girl.
Hope she is satisfied now.

Of colleagues and theives

There has been a robbery in our office on the 15th, 6 CPU’s, 3 monitors, 5 keyboards and 1 mouse has been stolen. Everybody is a suspect starting from the watchman to our boss, but I suspect Ganju, simple reason, she needed a mouse for her computer at home. So she devised a plan, actually she must have already had a plan as a similar theft had taken place in the month of February on the first floor and Ganju had narrated the incident like she had witnessed it first hand. So all she had to do this time was change the floor to 2nd floor. Ganju has a psychological problem, on nights when it’s neither a Full Moon or New Moon after eating her dinner she becomes greedy. So though her initial plan must have been to steal only a mouse, since Monday was neither a full moon nor a new moon day and Ganju makes it a point to eat before she embarks on any important task, she got greedy and stole more than she had intended too.
In fact when the crime branch guys came with the Dobberman, she jumped out of the open window and hid on the parapet, she climbed back in only after the dudes and the dog left. The dog kept barking in the direction of the open window but luckily for Ganju was led out of the office before he could go berserk and jump out of the open window too. I am sure she must have felt remorse in the morning, when she came to the office she was looking sad and shocked. I think she wants to return the computers back, especially our server which had all our data. It’s ok Ganju you can make an anonymous call to the office and inform us about the whereabouts of the stolen goods and guess what you can keep the mouse.

Being an Indian

Read a news article this morning about an unfortunate incident in which a young girl was murdered and another one grievously injured. This incident happened at around 6.00pm The story goes that they were attacked by an insane man who earlier the same day around 11.00am had stabbed his father and then fled the crime scene. I can’t help wondering if the gruesome incident with the girls could have been avoided.
On a regular day the police would have sent an alert to all the police stations and this mad guy would have been nabbed in no time. But this did not happen, why ? Because the entire Mumbai Police force was on a Bandobast duty to protect the President of our ruling party, who was in Mumbai city last week. My question is when the Police is busy providing security to the politicians, who protects the common man. Once again we were left to fend for ourselves and help our brethren. Doesn’t the life of a comman man hold any value in India?

Once a charismatic politician had said about the demise of his famous politician mother, “For some days people thought that India was shaking. But there are always tremors when a great tree falls”. Somebody should have brought to his notice then that India wasn’t shaking but a part of her was dying, ironically at her own hands. The tremors have stopped but the hurt remains. Twenty years down the line the attitude remains the same. The people elected to serve the country are the ones that are being served. On the Eve of our 58th Independence Day I can’t help but feel gloomy.

Music Mania

Dim once asked me, why don’t you like music, SIR? Don’t let that confuse you, Im a woman, its just that my friends out of mutual respect address each other as SIR. I was baffled by his question, took me a little time to understand that what he meant is why don’t, I listen to his kind of music. Ya, I know very pretentious of him to think what he listens to is music and anything else could be passed as the grumbling sound made by an upset stomach.
Now would I prefer a different set of people as friends just cause they show off their underwear brand and my friends don’t, however amusing and reflecting it might be. I agree one can learn a lot about a person just by knowing their undie brands, its saves a lot of trouble and time, that would otherwise be spent getting to know somebody. But since I have a lot of time and trouble always follows me like a shadow I don’t mind it. I have made my decision about the kind of people I would hangout with, though I would always make new acquaintances and enjoy time with them too, but they will never become “The Must” for me. Same goes for music, I am used to certain kind of music, I don’t know why, maybe cause I have listened to it from the time I remember or before that.
You must be wondering how Dim gets time to ponder over such silly matter and ask such irrelevant questions. The answer is we work together, I guess it says a lot about the amount of work we do. Dim has unsuccessfully tried to make me appreciate musicians like Oasis and U2, and with Kathy joining us at work, they have joined hands to convert me. It’s not like I wouldn’t listen to them, it’s just that it wouldn’t be my obvious choice. In fact, I would prefer Pink Floyd or Cranberries over Oasis and U2.
Dim’s argument is that U2 makes songs about social issues and their lyrics are terrific, I would beg to differ, a Bono or the likes can never beat Kaifi Azmi, Ravi, Khayyam or any one of their multitude. I should also admit that I do not get a single word of what these Bands sing, (something to do with not knowing English well, I guess) my mind does not register anything beyond the electric guitar being played to its optimum. If they had set their songs to the words of Keats or Wordsworth, maybe I would be singing a different tune.
After this I am sure Kathy will make it his life’s goal to come up with new ways to demean or better than that to kill me, but I will live to tell the tale.

Mommy's Girl

Mamma’s boy……… Papa’s girl, is it true, may be. But like in everything else I make an exception here too, cause I am a Mamma’s girl through and through. Why? Well let me explain.

In the distant past, we had these 2 very good theatres in our neighbourhood, where the tickets cost Rs.3. So me and my siblings, that’s total four of us (Family planning wasn’t in vogue back then) would go to our Dad and ask for Rs.12 so that we could catch the latest Hindi flick. He wouldn’t right away refuse to give us the money, but instead would say, why don’t you guys watch English movies, (Like watching Basic Instinct and The day of The Animals was the happening thing for kids those days) Now replace Daddy with Mummy (why wasn’t she the one making money), she not only would have given us the money for the movie, but for snacks too.
Back to present, I will reach home from office & tell my mom, “Mom a guy joined us in the office today, don’t know which department. The guy is quite dashing though”. And she will go wow, did u talk to him, does he like you, do you think he will marry you, when are you getting him home and I will be like hallo, I don’t even know his name. But you get the point don’t you, I mean she is concerned.
Now replace Mummy with Daddy, I say “Dad a guy joined us in the office today, don’t know which department. The guy is quite dashing though”. And my Dad will be like, could you pass the remote to me.
Need I explain More.

Weekend Getaway

The idea was to spend a weekend in a quiet place away from the traffic, pollution and all the other fixtures of urban life where we could enjoy the rains for a change. In Mumbai the monsoon represents muck, trains running late, potholes merging and resulting in entire stretches of roads resembling an amusement ride that has gone horribly wrong. Who wouldn’t want to get away from such a nightmare, even for a brief period? We considered a list of destinations, but finally settled on Kashid - a lesser known beach.

It is approximately 130km from Mumbai and about 20 kms from Alibaug, which makes for an amazing weekend getaway. Unlike Alibaug, the beach at Kashid is clean, not crowded with other weekend travelers and possesses a rare scenic beauty that leaves you mesmerized. It is definitely one of the best beaches in close proximity in Maharashtra. It is an ideal combination of green and grey mountains, white sandy beaches devoid of pebbles and an unspoilt shoreline.



We started off on a Saturday morning; the Sun God basking in a mild mood and smiling upon us. Once we crossed the city limits, the view was lovely. On the way, we stopped at hotel Karnala for breakfast; their Misal Pav is worth a try. As we progressed sometimes we went through thickly wooded slopes while at times we drove along the shoreline. The winding roads provide glimpses of sea from the clearing between the thick vegetation, bushes and trees. The advantage of driving your own car is, you can stop at leisure and enjoy the breathtaking view and capture the spectacular pictures in a camera.

It took us about 4 hrs to reach the Kashid Beach Resort, which includes the time spent for breakfast. This resort though secluded is very close to the beach. Kashid Beach Resort offers air-conditioned 25 split-level double rooms based on Spanish interior design, each affording a magnificent view of the sea. The rooms have attached baths with running hot/cold water and a private sit-out area. A multicuisine restaurant serving vegetarian and non-vegetarian food including Indian, Chinese, Continental, and regional Konkan cuisines. The food is quite sumptuous. Not far from the resort are the historic landmarks, the Murud-Janjira and the Kurlai fort at Rewdanda, Nawab Palace as well as the Ganapati and Birla Temple.

Once we reached the resort, we dumped our belongings in the rooms and rushed to the beach. Except our group, there was no other soul on the beach and it was a weekend. Unbelievable, isn’t it! Due to the rains the seawater was quite dark, but undoubtedly one of the cleanest and best beaches in the region. The sea is gentle and well-behaved, but prone to small whirlpools at certain locations, and therefore certain areas are best avoided. That should not take away anything from the fun that you can otherwise have on the beach.

Nights in Kashid are what romantic dreams are made of, with a faint silver-blue glow emanating from the stars and the moon and a gentle breeze embracing the gurgling sound of the ocean in the background. It is a perfect setting for those in love or for those keen on becoming cupid’s target.

We had planned to spend away the night talking and playing, but sleep intervened and claimed us nevertheless. After having been in the arms of Morpheus, instead of Cupid, we woke woke up feeling completely rested and energized, a feeling that us city dwellers are not really familiar with. We thought of making the most of the time we had until we checked out of the hotel and headed to the beach. Once again we were the only people around and felt like we owned the beach. On Sunday afternoon we started back for Mumbai, though one doesn’t look forward to the return journey, the drive back is equally appealing and pleasant.

Kashid offers a perfect weekend for those seeking solitude and delight, but don’t want to stray too far away from the hustle and bustle of Mumbai city. Staying over for more than a weekend might be unadvisable, lest we Mumbaites get used to the space & privacy. For those who would want to visit this place make haste, before it turns into an up market resort and loses its exclusive charm. All said and done, one of the best outings so far. ,,,

Past Tense

Throughout our life we meet a lot of people, some we get on with some we don’t. It’s not possible to keep in touch with everybody you have met. But no matter what’s happening in your life, whether you are in the dump or soaring high, there are some people you always keep in touch with, and these are friends. I am blessed with few but great friends who love me and are always there when I need them. Life had been more or less content I never socialized beyond this group and never felt the need to. But lately I don’t know why, I have started thinking about people I had met along in the journey called life, people I had known in school, college, previous work place and more. The urge to know about them, about where they are, what they must be doing, if they remember me has only been growing.

I decided to do something about it and set out on a mission. Firstly I went through my email address book and renewed contact with people I had not communicated in some time. But these were very few and I could have reached them anytime as I always had their contact details. My quest is to find those who at some point touched my life and then disappeared out of my life. I hope through this blog I will come across somebody who had crossed my path in the past, if I do, it will be worthwhile.

Don’t know why, but I feel my past holds the key to my future.

The Plunge

Finally I decided to take the plunge, oh no I aint getting married, I am just going to blog. My Friend Ganju (name changed to protect identity) is a voracious blogger and has been trying to convert me into one since a long time. If for nothing else just to get her off my back I have decided to blog. Now I suppose I got to introduce myself, which is a difficult task, considering I have never been able to talk (in this case write) about myself. I remember once in an interview, I was asked to say something about myself and I just sat there tongue-tied looking blankly at the interviewer. No prizes if you guessed it right, I did not get the job. But don’t let this incident fool you into believing that I am a quiet and shy person (that Im, but only with strangers). I can chatter non-stop, especially about myself with people Im close & comfortable with. Ok, that’s enough about me, lets get back to Ganju. I would like to thank and acknowledge Ganju’s contribution in my endeavour to become a blogger. Without her insistent nagging I wouldn’t have even made an attempt, I am as lazy as they come.